this is a true story.
For many years the gate keeper at the BBC building in London was an old fellow by the name of Robert. Having spent some of his youth in military Service, active combat, he had lost his left hand.
So one day Bob is sitting in his gaurd's building, opening the gate, letting all the celebs in and out, sipping his coffee and smoking his cigs when who should come rolling up to the barrier but Spike Milligan! now Spike was one of Bob's all time comedy heroes, and to see this great man was a delight.
"Good day Mr. Milligan, how the devil are you today?"
"Very well thank you, and call me Spike"
flushed at this act of generosity, old Bob thought he might push the boat out and go for gold.
"I say Spike, the wife and I have always loved you shows, we roar with laughter at you jokes, really have been life long fans"
"Very good sir" came the reply " I have always tried to make people laugh."
plucking up all his courage, old Bob furtively ventured..
"I say Spike, I noticed you are putting on a show in the paladium next week, I wonder if by some wonderfull chance you might be able to spot the wife and I a set of tickets?" holding his breath....
Spike, pausing for a second, took a look at the poor man's disabled stump, felt compasion for a fellow maimed in conflict (spike himself had taken a wound to a mortar round in Italy, WW2), looked up straight into old Bob's eyes and replied...
"Not bloody likely mate, we want people who can clap!"
