Author Topic: 2002 started okay...but now it is FUBAR (Read 1752 times)

Curval · « **on:** January 10, 2002, 08:37:00 AM »

My wife went for an ultra sound yesterday. The nurse took way too long while reviewing the pictures and my wife knew something was wrong. When she called me she had the story all mixed up from the technician as she was upset, so I called her maternity doctor myself. Her office told me that if there was a problem that the radiologist would call the doctors office right away...they had not heard anything so she said that I could assume everything was okay. So..I called my wife with the news...boy was she relieved.

Then at ten to five in the afternoon the doctor called me. There is a problem and one which is potentially life threatening for the baby.

I was supposed to be at a meeting at 6.30pm but I cancelled it....the ride home was the worst in my life....how do you tell your wife something like this..especially after telling her that everything was okay just hours before?

But...I had to.

What a long horrible night it was....both of us were a mess. We also felt so guilty because our two children couldn't figure out why mummy and daddy were so upset. It was really hard to try and act as if everything was fine for their benefit.

Now we have an appointment at 12.30 with the doctor, who will then tell us exactly what is wrong and give us our options. I can't think...can't work...I just have a bad, bad feeling.

I normally don't share such personal stuff...but I am at a loss as to what to do with myself.

[ 01-10-2002: Message edited by: Curval ]

Udie · « **Reply #1 on:** January 10, 2002, 08:41:00 AM »

Prayers are with you man.

indian · « **Reply #2 on:** January 10, 2002, 08:47:00 AM »

Hold Your head up and know that the prayers of this great community are with you.

midnight Target · « **Reply #3 on:** January 10, 2002, 08:58:00 AM »

Been there, I hope all turns out well. The prayers of my family are with you and yours.

skernsk · « **Reply #4 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:15:00 AM »

My wife and I went through the same thing a few months back. The ultra-sound took forever and they called a doctor in to review the results.

They were concerned about Spinabifida. We had to go for another ultra-sound and luckily they were wrong and it was nothing serious.

I hope all goes well for you and your wife.

Curval · « **Reply #5 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:19:00 AM »

Thanks guys....I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Tah Gut...I hope everything was fine in your case.

Skernsk...man I hope we have similar stories.

An hour to go.....

miko2d · « **Reply #6 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:24:00 AM »

By all means, man, please do not hesitate to share it with us.
We will offer you what empathy and support we can. Maybe even some helpfull advice.

You would not believe how many people among those you know have experienced similar problems - untill you tell them about yours. You can get lot of comfort from such people - whether they ended up OK or learned the ways to deal with failure that they can share with you.
It surely helped me a lot when my wife went through IVF (2 weeks waiting for the first ultrasound to indicate success or failure) and later then we got suspisious test results requiring amniocentesis. The week we waited for the results was the most nerve-wrecking one in our life.

How advanced is the pregnancy?
How old is your wife?
What is your religious credo?

miko

Udie · « **Reply #7 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:33:00 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by skernsk:
My wife and I went through the same thing a few months back. The ultra-sound took forever and they called a doctor in to review the results.

They were concerned about Spinabifida. We had to go for another ultra-sound and luckily they were wrong and it was nothing serious.

I hope all goes well for you and your wife.

I have a 22 yr old step-brother that was born with bad spinalbifida. His spine was open to the air when he was born and he wasn't supposed to live through the night. Well he made it. Then he wasn't supposed to make it 6 months. 5 surgeries later, he made it. Then it was 6 years, he made it.

When my mom first married his father, I hated him (my brother) he was retarted, coulnd't walk or control any bodily function. He scared me, he was ugly and I couldn't stand to be near him. Then one day ,about a year after they married, I looked at him and for the first time he looked cute to me. I sat down and thought woah I love him, then I cried for the way I had treated him. He absolutely adored me from minute one and I couldn't stand him.

Well now he's 22 yrs old, living in his own living assisted apartment. I look back and realize how much about love and life that little retarted kid taught me. He still has speech problems, can't count money or tell time. But he emails me every other day

He is also the happiest person I have ever known, nothing gets him down.

The reason I post this is to maybe let you know that sometimes what may seem like a curse from God could actually be a blessing.

U

Curval · « **Reply #8 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:36:00 AM »

Wife is 13 weeks pregnant.

She is 34 years old.

I am a WASP...my wife is Buddist.

Curval · « **Reply #9 on:** January 10, 2002, 09:55:00 AM »

Well, I'm off to meet my wife for the appointment..

Wish us luck..

Nifty · « **Reply #10 on:** January 10, 2002, 10:00:00 AM »

Thinking of you and your family, bro. <S>

LePaul · « **Reply #11 on:** January 10, 2002, 10:13:00 AM »

<drums fingers>

Is he back yet? How'd it go?

We're with ya, Curval. Hope all went well.

Eagler · « **Reply #12 on:** January 10, 2002, 10:46:00 AM »

<S>

prayers are with you & yours

Curval · « **Reply #13 on:** January 10, 2002, 12:12:00 PM »

Just got back...doesn't look good guys.

We have to fly to Boston in the next couple of days to get more tests done...detailed scans etc.

If it is what they think it is we may have to abort the pregnancy.

[ 01-10-2002: Message edited by: Curval ]

eskimo2 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 10, 2002, 04:46:00 PM »

I wish I knew what to say...

I have learned a lot about pregnancy and birth in the past month. A month ago I spent a week in the hospital with my wife. Our 2nd daughter was born 6 weeks early... (and doing very well now).
I talked to many doctors, nurses and new or expecting parents. It seems that kids are pretty darn fragile untill they get close to their due date. A lot don't make it.
One nurse in particular told us that it seems like the best parents are often given the greatest challenges in respect to the health of their newborns, and those who could care less almost always have perfectly healthy babies.

Anyway, my only advice is to remember that your wife is #1, be there for her even if you feel that you need her to be there for you. And then do the same for your 2 kids.

Good luck Curval,
I'll be thinking about you and you family.

eskimo