I think I like the original better. The straight title would allow you to add a secondary title underneath the main, something like "The Virtual Air Combat Authority".
Additionally, your cover photo is distorted. It would appear you resized it without maintaining the aspect ratio.
One thing that is often done these days (as opposed to when I trained to do this stuff..
), is an object in the foreground will overlay the title. Something like having the lead plane's rudder cover a small part of the title. It will help make the photo stand out (drawing attention is the point of a magazine cover photo
).
