Author Topic: Evil Critters  (Read 699 times)

Offline AWMac

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Evil Critters
« on: January 10, 2008, 07:20:51 PM »
Opossums...The Devils Pets.
I have a dam full Family of these evil critters living in my attic.  Can anyone give me an idea on how to rid my life of this Satans Spawn?  They ate thru the roof. They come in at the break of Dawn and leave at night. They taunt me and my dogs. I clubed one to death in my pool shed, 5 Iron I believe...it tried to play dead WHACK WHACK WHACK...playtime was over.

Short of burning down the house and rebuilding, I'm sure the bastards would live in the ashes, does anyone have a good remedy to get rid of them?

B@tfinkV these are NOT like the lil soft lovely critters you have... these will fight back.

Offline Meatwad

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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2008, 07:25:30 PM »
Shoot em

or


Invite me over and I will play doctor with them, PETA board style.


I'll bring my oxygen tank specifically for opossums


See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline Meatwad

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« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2008, 07:27:29 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by AWMac
I clubed one to death in my pool shed, 5 Iron I believe...it tried to play dead WHACK WHACK WHACK...playtime was over.

 


:rofl :rofl :rofl :cry


I think we need to go to the peta board and discuss it there :D
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline Rollins

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« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2008, 07:29:36 PM »
Large bowl of dog food + generous soak of antifreeze.
Bring gloves, shovel and garbage bags the next day.  

But Meatwad's idea does sound more fun :aok
http://www.flamewarriors.net    Here kitty kitty...

Offline Wes14

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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2008, 07:30:28 PM »
Boom..good opossum  :D
Warning! The above post may induce: nausea, confusion, headaches, explosive diarrhea, anger, vomiting, and whining. Also this post may not make any sense, or may lead to the hijack of the thread.

-Regards,
Wes14

Offline Meatwad

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« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2008, 07:31:02 PM »
My story of a little opossum that became ill in my yard the last time I visited PETA's message board

brittneydoe = Meatwad :)


 Posted By   Date/Time
 brittneydoe   4/7/07 3:54 PM
OMG! I was outside today and this really cool possum was walking across my yard. All of a sudden, it like just fell down. Its still breathing and stuff, but wut should I do???  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:08 PM
OMG... it's okay I hope... get a towel. cover it up. Can you call someone?  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:13 PM
i dont know who should i call  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:15 PM
Gosh... 911 maybe... this IS a Opossum...They should be able to direct you.  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:16 PM
Is it still breathing?
 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:17 PM
i put it in some towels and brought it into our carpeted garage. maybe it will get warm. i know who to call now ima go call  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:17 PM
yes its breathing deep and heavily  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:17 PM
Opossums play sleeping... so CPR is not good.. well the mouth to nose part... can you roll the Opossum over?
 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:21 PM
i asked the animal guy and he says if there is one like that then they will come and take ti away. i dont want him to!!11!!1!ONE

I didnt tell him i had one just asked what would ahppen.

its on its side rigyht now. IMA scared  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:23 PM
brittney... okay... calm down a lil.... you got to get air into hmi or he wont make it... rolll him on it bac...okay?
 
brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:24 PM
ok brb  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:25 PM
k its on its bak  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:28 PM
Brittney are you still there?
 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:29 PM
im here!!!!!  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:29 PM
Btrittny?  
 
  meghanlauren   4/7/07 4:30 PM
i think possums do that, because they're scared, so they don't want you to think they're alive ... they probably think you're going to try to eat it and hurt it, so i think it's just 'playing dead'  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:33 PM
Look into it's eyes... if it doesn't blink... poke his/its eye with a fingr..

But get it on it's back cuz you need to save it.
 
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:35 PM
Is thew heart beatting?  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:35 PM
it didnt blink, but i turned it on its back. now what do i do. I hope it didnt die!!!1  

ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:37 PM
Grab the bac legs and hold them high okasy?  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:38 PM
You can save him... let me knoe when legs are up....
 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:39 PM
um ok but wut does this do  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:40 PM
Get a good seal on his backside with yer lips and give 3 good puffs of air,,,, let me knoe when you did this.  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:42 PM
EWWWW

my dad has an air compressor, couldnt i just put it on low and do it that way  
 
  napalmtheory   4/7/07 4:42 PM
This has to be a joke.  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:44 PM
no im trying to help a possum that i dont want to see die. you must not care about animals  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:45 PM
anything you can Britt... just don't waste time...  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:46 PM
ok ill try the air thing  

Posted By   Date/Time
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:48 PM
OMG!!!!! it made this noise and now its running around the garage like crazy!11! It even hissed at me too.

What do I do now??????????  
 
  cekud   4/7/07 4:49 PM
It's probably a self defense mechanism. Possums can play dead for countless hours if they feel threatened. Especially if it's during the day time. It may wait until it feels comfortable and it's dark to continue on.  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 4:50 PM
Okay let me know when yer ready....  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:52 PM
it ran off to the corner of my dads garage. i stuck this air thing up its butt and pushed this lever on it. i guess i had it on too high cause it shot across the room liek 100 miles an hour.

now its running around like mad  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:54 PM
ok it stopped again i guess i didnt do it right, ill try it again  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 4:57 PM
OMG NOOOOOO!!! *cries*  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:04 PM
manyanimalswonder are you good at knowng possum stuff?  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:04 PM
What Happened Brittny  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:05 PM
I dont know. All of a sudden its eyeballs went flying across the garage  

 brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:05 PM
Did I do it wrong?  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:06 PM
OMG....how much air pressure did you uies...damm..OMG  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:07 PM
the needle said 150, its one of those really tall ones.

*cries*  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:08 PM
It died. Life is so unfair *cries*

your like 20 miles from me, can i ask u something?  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:10 PM
I have alotta Opossums here and watch Animal Planet alot...still have the Opossum Brittney?
 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:11 PM
yes  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:13 PM
Can you ewwwww... still find it's eyes? They'll be slippery, kinda.  
 
  FrizzyRat   4/7/07 5:14 PM
Oh for crying out loud! You do know that when you apply that revival technique you are supposed to put a baloon over the poor possums head don't you??

No wonder it went shooting around the garage like that!

This is all manyanimalswonders fault . Don't you worry your pretty little head about it brittnydoe.

 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:15 PM
i cant find them, my dad has too much junk  

soccer12   4/7/07 5:17 PM
If they'd take it away, where would they take it? I suggest that you ask, and if they do something you don't like, then I don't know what else you could do.  
 
  soccer12   4/7/07 5:19 PM
Uhm.. Maybe turn a fan on in the garage to succulate the air. It might help the breathing  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:19 PM
You gotta find at least one Brittny... gotta give this lil guy a chance...Ohhh I feel sic.  
 
  ManyAnimalsWonder   4/7/07 5:20 PM
You gotta find at least one Brittny... gotta give this lil guy a chance...Ohhh I feel sic.  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:20 PM
It DIED!!!!!! *cries hysterically*  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:23 PM
You live about 20 miles from here dont you?  
 
  FrizzyRat   4/7/07 5:24 PM
It's probably not really dead, remember its a possum.

Do what manyanimalswonder says. Then put a baloon over it's head and try the air thing again (better turn the guage down to about 80 or so though). It should work this time.

Trust me I've seen this before.

 
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:27 PM
ok wait a min  
 
  brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:30 PM
oops  

brittneydoe   4/7/07 5:48 PM
It exploded *cries*  
 
  gotgod101   4/7/07 5:58 PM
dont freak out. havent you ever heard of possums playing dead? They do it when they're afraid of a hawk eating them because hawks like their meat fresh. They do it whenever they feal threatened too. Thanks for checking though, its really nice your worried about a possum...most people wouldnt be!
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2008, 07:36:00 PM »
Ohhh I love yer Evil Minds!!!

I'm sick and tired of these Evil Bastages... If I call PETA do ya think...if I told them I'd kill everyone of them, that they's rescue them?

If not then after the antifreeze/dogfood thing I'll just drive by PETA and toss them out the window...with cute lil frikken collars on....
"Hi I'm Fluffy."  "Hi I'm Cuddles"  "Hi, Tickle me I'm Frikken Elmo"...

Them Bastages....

Mac

Offline Wes14

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« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2008, 07:37:11 PM »
:rofl Nice one!
Warning! The above post may induce: nausea, confusion, headaches, explosive diarrhea, anger, vomiting, and whining. Also this post may not make any sense, or may lead to the hijack of the thread.

-Regards,
Wes14

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2008, 07:37:40 PM »
Meatwad I was ManyAnimalsWonder...MAW

LOL I remember that ohhhh so well!!!

Frikken Classic!

Mac

Along with the one makin love to the wounded deer in the garage.  
My neighbors dogs *Asian Family* and the Girlfriends cries over the rat falling into the soup.

I still catch hell from PETA. LOL

We need anutha raid!!!  These kids know nothing of what the O Club has done before.

:rofl
« Last Edit: January 10, 2008, 07:47:28 PM by AWMac »

Offline Meatwad

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« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2008, 07:59:51 PM »
:rofl


I was in on the original peta raid. That was just plain fun.


Someone built up the O'club for a week and then all of a sudden, BAM! We all hit there at once :D
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2008, 08:00:20 PM »
Skuzz would PNG us oldies for sure this time.

Offline Meatwad

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« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2008, 08:00:43 PM »
I know :cry


We have to be good now
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2008, 08:01:51 PM »
Meatwad were you there for the Strippers raid and the Counter Attack?

I feel old now for some reason.

Mac

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2008, 08:03:49 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Meatwad
:rofl


I was in on the original peta raid. That was just plain fun.


Someone built up the O'club for a week and then all of a sudden, BAM! We all hit there at once :D


Sweet Times...


C'mon Skuzzy...
We just wanna have fun unnnn, ohhh we just wanna have fun...
Justa a wanna, just awanna.....
When the AH day is done... Ohhh Farts just wanna have fun unnn..
Oh farts just wanna have funnnn un...Old Farts just wanna have fun.
Old Fartss, Old Farts, Fun, ohhh funnnn....

~apologies to Cyndi Lauper~
« Last Edit: January 10, 2008, 08:08:53 PM by AWMac »

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2008, 08:04:11 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by AWMac
Meatwad were you there for the Strippers raid and the Counter Attack?

I feel old now for some reason.

Mac


Oh good times.....good times!

I know the humane society back in Omaha had these traps that they'd let you borrow.  We were trying to catch one but usually ended up with the neighbors cats.