Not sure if you have ever read this, but this defines how I think of cats and dogs. Very funny in my opinion.
>> As seen in a dog's diary:
>> 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
>> 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>> 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
>> Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
>> 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
>> 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
>> 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
>> 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
>> 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
>> 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>> 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
>> 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
>>
>> As seen in a cat's diary:
>> Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
>>bizarre
>> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
>>I am
>> forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
>>the hope
>>of
>> escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the
>>furniture.
>>
>> Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill
>>my
>>captors
>> by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
>>succeeded -
>>must try this
>> at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
>>these vile
>> oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
>>favorite chair -
>> must try this on their bed.
>>
>> Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
>>attempt to
>> make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
>>fear in
>>their hearts.
>> They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
>>was.
>> Hmmm, not working according to plan.
>>
>> There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
>>placed in
>> solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
>>and smell
>> the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due
>>to my
>>powers
>> of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
>>it to my
>> advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
>>maybe
>> snitches.
>>
>> The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
>> return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
>>has got
>>to be an
>> informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
>>my every
>> move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
>>is
>> assured.
