The second one is sad. I mean, at 12 years old? That is like sixth grade! None of the easy girls I knew were even past third base (is that right? I never understood baseball.).
The first one was kind of funny though, I have to give you that.
I don't get the bases either, but I know 2 girls who were pregnant at 12 and another that was, well, easy. It's absolutely pathetic, and I don't know who to feel worse for, the girl, or the poor SOB that finds himself shagging a 12 year old...