We had those in TX where I grew up, called them banana spiders, but I think technically they're golden orb weavers. They get pretty damn big, make really strong webs between the trunks of trees. Once, while playing outside with some friends, shooting bb guns at each other, I ran through a web while looking back over my shoulder and got one on my face. I blacked my eye smacking it so hard and fast.
I don't mind spiders at all, I think they're neat and they do eat lots of irritating insects. But, I don't want the ON me.
They dont get as big, Im sure, but we have them in the Mid-Atlantic/Northeast, too. Nowhere near as common as in Florida, though.
I'll spare you the Florida story, where I was first introduced to these wonderful spiders running through the woods at a camp ground outside Disneyworld, but the Pennsylvania story will make Banshee pass out.
Was doing some fly fishing with a buddy in a stream in northeastern Pennsylvania. Current was strong, but not too bad... stream was roughly 100 feet across and probably 7-8 feet deep in the middle with the odd area near the shoreline where one could not stand.
Being the young, advernturous lads that we were, we had chest waders on and were in the stream. How the hell else were we suppose to get dirty and catch fish, etc, etc?
Well, as I stood there, casting, only about 15 feet into the stream (water up to waiste), I lost my footing and the current took me. You see, rocks under the water of streams like this serve as anchors for planetlife and end you being covered in slimy (read: slippery) algae. Well, my boot didnt much care for the "slippery" part and off I went...
Obviously this was slightly troubling as I just happened (yay...) to be, according to my own legs, drifting into an area where I could not stand. More troubling than this was the fact that the water, now over my chest line, was filling my waders, making me rather inefficient at the whole "floating" thing. Still more troubling was that the tree I saw ahead, with a branch that appeared to be strong enough to latch onto, had some strange haze beneath it... covering a couple loose bush branches, etc, etc.
Now about 20 feet away from this low-slung tree on the bank, along with its viney bushes and strange, hazy-film thing, was a rather visible object in the middle of the curious... FORNICATE! MASSIVE FORNICATING SPIDER!
With no ability to stop myself, brace against the current, swim with filled waders, etc, etc, I went straight into this diety-darned spider web and ended up covered in its web with the damned thing, which, so far as I could tell at that moment, was roughly the size of a small car (palm of hand, realisticly) crawling on the back of my neck.
Eventually, the current pushed me into an area where I could stand again, I scrambled onto the muddy shore and, to this day, I dont think that I could disrobe any faster for Jenna Jameson, herself.