btw you can remove the following using Add/Remove Programs as required:
Apple Mobile Device Support - used for syncing with iPods, iPhones etc
Apple Software Update - junk it and update manually if you dont want the service checking
Bonjour - network thingy used for iTunes sharing between PCs and AppleTV, Airtunes etc.
edit: even the fantastic IMGBurn installs some toolbar nonsense and update checking service unless you disable them
Even if iTunes was completely removed by removing those three pieces of software that get installed with it, then it comes down to "why does iTunes need to be so obtrustive in the first place?" I mean, not only does it need iTunes itself, but it also needs a separate program to interface with the iPod which shouldn't be necessary, and it needs a THIRD program to share your iTunes with other connections, and then a FOURTH for updating? That's absolutely ridiculous!
There is no reason whatsoever for a program to need it's own software for updating... just do a check when you open the program! Networking is already built into windows, as is plug and play device detection (for the iPod). I have a feeling that a big reason for it being so big is DRM. You know, software to check things to make sure you're not making illegal copies.
I'm sorry, but I see absolutely no reason for it, and that alone is reason enough for me to never own anything with Apple stamped on it. I'm not saying there is other software out there that isn't just as bad because bloatware seems to be all the rage these days... but the solution is real simple. Do your research. If you don't like it, don't use it. If you have to have it, find an open source alternative and donate to an individual group of programmers who put their blood and sweat into the software. (I do that every month with my fee to HiTech)
While there is no 100% alternative to iTunes, there are programs such as MediaMonkey that do about 90% as much.
iTunes is totally great and transparent when used with a correct operating system.
"Great" is a judgment call, and I would never call it that. "Transparent" may be accurate because all the junk gets done in the background...so much so that you don't really know what all it is doing. "When used with a correct operating system" I believe you're referring to Apple O/S with that comment, and if you are then you're probably correct. I have a strong feeling that the Apple version of iTunes is nowhere near as obtrusive as the Microsoft versions.