Author Topic: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots  (Read 538 times)

Offline Curlew

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21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« on: April 04, 2011, 11:51:45 AM »
Im sure you have heard some of these but they are always funny

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling
the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
being up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6.The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep
the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.

10. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds.

11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take-offs you've made.

12. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

13. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag
of luck.

14. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
the ground has yet to lose.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
much as possible.

19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

20. Remember: gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's
a law that is not subject to repeal.

21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above
you, a runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
It is I, Ens. Pulver! And I have just thrown your palm tree overboard!
Quote from: Helm
The best cure for "wife ack" is to deploy chaff:    $...$$....$....$$$.....$ .....$$$.....$ ....$$

Callsign---Curlew

Offline Tupac

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2011, 11:55:39 AM »
 :aok
"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline MachFly

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2011, 12:50:24 PM »
 :aok

For #11, Chuck Yeager been shot down before and he still has the same number of landings as take offs.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2011, 12:53:59 PM by MachFly »
"Now, if I had to make the choice of one fighter aircraft above all the others...it would be, without any doubt, the world's greatest propeller driven flying machine - the magnificent and immortal Spitfire."
Lt. Col. William R. Dunn
flew Spitfires, Hurricanes, P-51s, P-47s, and F-4s

Offline curry1

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2011, 01:08:00 PM »
:aok

For #11, Chuck Yeager been shot down before and he still has the same number of landings as take offs.

How did he land without taking off?
Curry1-Since Tour 101

Offline colmbo

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2011, 01:23:00 PM »
How did he land without taking off?

The X-1 was air-launched.  He probably has more landings than takeoffs.

I have flown in an aircraft that I neither took off in or landed in. <G>
Columbo

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Fate whispers to the warrior "You cannot withstand the storm" and the warrior whispers back "I AM THE STORM"

Offline MachFly

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2011, 01:32:25 PM »
The X-1 was air-launched.  He probably has more landings than takeoffs.

I have flown in an aircraft that I neither took off in or landed in. <G>

Exactly

He could not log the take off in the X-1 because B-25 took it up (actually he was not even in the X-1 when the B-52 took off), but he did land it.  :cheers:
"Now, if I had to make the choice of one fighter aircraft above all the others...it would be, without any doubt, the world's greatest propeller driven flying machine - the magnificent and immortal Spitfire."
Lt. Col. William R. Dunn
flew Spitfires, Hurricanes, P-51s, P-47s, and F-4s

Offline Tupac

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2011, 04:23:14 PM »
Speaking of good landings and great landings, I have the last ever "Great" landing in this plane



The guy that flew the plane after me got caught by a crosswind gust and bent the airplane.
"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline Dichotomy

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2011, 04:41:39 PM »
he forgot to sing 'Final Countdown' and it jinxed him :D
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline Tupac

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2011, 04:46:12 PM »
he forgot to sing 'Final Countdown' and it jinxed him :D

It's impossible to fail when the final countdown is being sung. It is scientific fact!
 :D
"It was once believed that an infinite number of monkeys, typing on an infinite number of keyboards, would eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. However, with the advent of Internet messageboards we now know this is not the case."

Offline Dichotomy

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2011, 04:53:52 PM »
WORD!! ^5
JG11 - Dicho37Only The Proud Only The Strong AH Players who've passed on :salute

Offline curry1

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2011, 08:25:57 PM »
The X-1 was air-launched.  He probably has more landings than takeoffs.
werd
I have flown in an aircraft that I neither took off in or landed in. <G>
care to explain did you jump out?
Curry1-Since Tour 101

Offline Penguin

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Re: 21 Rules of the Air for Pilots
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2011, 08:35:01 PM »
The pilot handed him the stick, and then he handed it back when he was done.

-Penguin