Truth is truth and can not be denied. 
And yet you continue to deny the truth.
Don't you recall posting a thread almost exactly like this last year? The responses were largely the same: "Fly different aircraft. Stay off 200. Get out of your comfort zone. Change what you are doing."
The "reality" (that you clearly fail to see) is that you haven't done any of this.
I even made some specific suggestions, and followed up with you few days later. You told me you tried for one or two sorties, but then gave up. You even tried not HO-ing for a while, after stating that you would change that tactic, but instead you changed your name so you could "HO without shame". These actions don't represent "moments of weakness", Midway. They represent
on-going weakness with moments of good intentions (just claims of good intentions, really). This is why the the community largely scoffs at a post like this from you.
What really seems to be holding you back is your lack of resolve (call it "strength of character") to stick with trying something different. Only by trying something new will you reach the point of learning and improving. In this sense you have to risk some failure in order to achieve real success.
Until your actions equate to your intentions, nothing will change.
I truly wish this would sink in for you, but it's been said to you literally a hundred times before. My prediction is there will just be another post like this one again next year (provided you haven't burned out by then) to which nobody should reply, but instead just link to this thread.
Best of luck anyway.