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She only now opened up my Valentine’s gift to her - she kept putting it off till she was in a “better mood”.
No adultery; I have no reason to suspect her otherwise. I feel like I might as well have been unfaithful - according to her I have completely broken her trust in me because she feels that I do not prioritize her. It’s about like a kid asking for a new graphing calculator, but instead of giving it before school starts the parent waits till Christmas to give it - all fine and dandy that the kid has what was asked for, but the kid has already failed math class. I felt like it was not a good time for me to leave my home church just yet and that we could muster through for just a bit till it was a better time - even though now we have left she continues to come unglued at me that I was being selfish or putting the needs of others before her.
The reason I have posted online to forums is that I wanted third party unbiased opinions of what is going on. I have avoided talking to my parents or anyone who knows us both so as to not ruin their image of her or become stand-offish.
Met up at home last night after work; before I can get a “howdy-do” off she starts going off the rails again. She was triggered by a comment on FB from my mom liking my cousin’s new house but she feels my parents laugh at our house for having problems that need fixing. She often brings up the time when My mom went with her to a pediatric appointment where our daughter had to receive a medical shot. My wife’s position is that she asked my mom ostensibly so she could feel involved and bond more - but now feels she gave the mistaken impression that my wife cannot handle it on her own (even though when I go she declares it is because she needs my support). Well they get back to the office and my mom made the joke that “[our daughter] was fine, it was [my wife] who I thought I was going to need to hold down and sooth”. This has been a down point for my as she sees my mom as a bully now making a joke at her expense and gets frustrated that I “don’t fight for her”. Knowing her disposition I agree the comment was not needed, but at the same time I don’t see why that is the breaking point she hinges on with her perception of my family being wrecked and against her. Not to mention she brought up again how because I did not dedicate a full 2 weeks paternity time to her as she expected (I partially tagged out with my mom to stay with her because the family business needed me) that she cannot trust me to value her needs.
I have always thought of her as a “reverse princess and the pea”: if she has an issue she seeks to address it - she may burn down the whole dang bed and destroy half the kingdom, but she is going to get that friggin pea! I have seen her take on problems that would hardly phase me or anyone else with all the ferocity of marines storming Iwo Jima.
The trouble is I have always treated her as a normal person who could handle her own personal problems to a certain degree - but she herself would admit she cannot take on any more pain, hurt or emotional trauma as she has already reached her limit over her life. She says she is laughed at, unheard, disrespected and unvalued down here compared to where she came from on the east coast where she had life friends and good culture (she was good to leave that before our daughter, now that to her is critical and nothing down here can bring that peace back).
Finally get our daughter down at a decent hour and I have to stay up till midnight listening to her vent and gripe. When I try to disengage and say it is time to go to bed that just makes her madder that I am trying to deflect and ignore her.
