Once you see it, you can never again unsee it. Changes your complete perspective on some people.
Some my friends also did not believe/understand until I played them some recordings I had made.
HiTech
Dale,
I know from the exact same experience, prolly worse, that nothing I say minimizes the pain inflicted on you, nor the images in your head. I won’t tell my story here, call if you need. , but trust me, I believe every word.
The pain you feel, as if everyone is looking at you in a bad light is an illusion, sadly its in the design. When you think “ ya, no one I know would ever go that low” ,…the realization that they really would has a learning curve. Its disorienting, it keeps us off balance. It promotes a complex.
One day maybe we can talk,..no matter, the reality you need is its not you, you’re not a bad guy. We don’t need proof, we know you, thats our proof. No one here is judging you. The reason it effects you is you have conscience, you care how people view you. Bad people don’t care, it won’t effect them.
I’m proof, you can survive anything, but death. Take care of yourself. You now know where the bottom of the barrel is, the bar of pain has been raised. Everything else that was big is now small beans. Its just sad that wisdom is born of bad experiences.
I know how you feel, i have all the t-shirts.
I don’t say get to work because I want changes..I say it because your mind has spent so much time on this, its now conditioned. Find a distraction to break the cycle, take your mind off it and that helps break that cycle and recondition your mind to be you again. Even if mowing lawn works for you.
We’re happy to know you’re still with us and this, but we’re a patient lot, take your time.
You’ll be ok, give time, time to work. It will get better.
You humanized yourself to us thats what friends and family do.
