Author Topic: Husband Mart  (Read 398 times)

Offline AKIron

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 13294
Husband Mart
« on: February 24, 2004, 12:20:33 PM »
**Husband Mart**

Husband Mart, a store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.  As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor,  but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good
looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says.  "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting.  BUT, there must be more  further up!"

And again she heads up another flight

The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me!  But just think...  what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789 to this floor.  There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline Saurdaukar

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8610
      • Army of Muppets
Husband Mart
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2004, 12:23:10 PM »
Brilliant.

Offline Wanker

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4030
Husband Mart
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2004, 12:34:14 PM »
:D

Offline Maverick

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 13958
Husband Mart
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2004, 12:38:05 PM »
:rofl
DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
Author Unknown

Offline pugg666

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1232
Husband Mart
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2004, 12:41:15 PM »
LOL great one :D

Offline loser

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1642
Husband Mart
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2004, 03:18:47 PM »
nice.

Offline Nod

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 249
Husband Mart
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2004, 06:12:04 PM »
to true

Offline culero

  • Persona Non Grata
  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2528
Husband Mart
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2004, 06:14:57 PM »
Not true, women are easy to please :)

culero (my Internet **** is THIS big! ;) )
“Before we're done with them, the Japanese language will be spoken only in Hell!” - Adm. William F. "Bull" Halsey

Offline Stoned Gecko

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 177
Husband Mart
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2004, 06:36:19 PM »
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :aok

Offline Hawklore

  • Parolee
  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4798
Husband Mart
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2004, 06:59:28 PM »
Always a good joke to ready.

:aok
"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life." - Chief Tecumseh

Offline hawker238

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1563
Husband Mart
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2004, 07:09:37 PM »
If it was about women, most of us would stop at five.....

Offline AKIron

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 13294
Husband Mart
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2004, 07:11:04 PM »
Another:

Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.

Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Patty coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins.

"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"

"Not very good," came the reply, "I've been waiting here for hours."

"You should have been with me . . . did I ever find a good machine!  It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it to you .. . . you can't lose! Every time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!"
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline Kanth

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2462
Husband Mart
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2004, 09:18:33 PM »
wouldn't get past the lobby.

Quote
Originally posted by hawker238
If it was about women, most of us
Gone from the game. Please see Spikes or Nefarious for any Ahevents.net admin needs.