Author Topic: Pet Diaries  (Read 249 times)

Offline ravells

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Pet Diaries
« on: June 09, 2004, 04:44:26 AM »
This gave me a laugh.

ravs

PET DIARIES UNCOVERED
 
As seen in a dog's diary:
 
8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
 
 
As seen in a cat's diary:
 
Day 183 of my captivity...
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
 
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
 
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
 
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
 
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.
 
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmm, not working according to plan.
 
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.  
 
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
 
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
 
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Offline CyranoAH

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Pet Diaries
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2004, 05:41:09 AM »
Oldie but Goodie :)

Offline Saintaw

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Pet Diaries
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2004, 07:21:08 AM »
:lol
Saw
Dirty, nasty furriner.

Offline xrtoronto

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Pet Diaries
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2004, 12:18:46 PM »
sounds like that cat needed more excitement? ... maybe a ride in the dryer?:)

Offline Dago

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« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2004, 12:45:18 PM »
The cats diary reminds me of Stewie from The Family Guy.


dago
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Offline Hawklore

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« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2004, 12:50:26 PM »
Hehe.. :lol
"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life." - Chief Tecumseh

Offline Furball

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Pet Diaries
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2004, 01:26:00 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Dago
The cats diary reminds me of Stewie from The Family Guy.


dago


lol was thinking exact same.
I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know.
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