Many, many moons ago I was in the same position as you are now (we all still are in one way or another) and was flying AirWarrior on AOL.
I lucked out by joining a GREAT squad (after my first tour initiation, had to reach a certain score in one campaign, and this I accomplished my FIRST tour, after untold hours of reading, and practice) called the WidowMakers. The squad was full of many so called "vets" who would spend many an hour (MANY an hour) handing me my 'arse teaching me skills that I still use today.
I recall one night taking off again and again to fight one of my squaddies who was flying a p-38 (Goose if I recall, possibly GMM1). I was amazed that I couldn't even get a decent shot off on 'em, even though I was flying a spitIX, and thought it the superior of the two planes. After probably two dozen deaths, (i never DID kill him) I had to re-evaluate what I was doing, and studied that film over and over offline. It made me better.
We had a GREAT female pilot in the squad named Yuri, and I only had the plesure of killing her twice in the two years I flew with her. She would take many of us "nwbies" and vets also if I recall correctly, and we would train for hours on end, then all would meet up in the WM Chat room and discuss what we had just trained on/learned. The night when Yuri and another squaddie (Desslock I think, +WM32) jumped me with alt and I BEAT them in a 2 on 1 I had really thought I had finally "arrived".
One of the ways I would learn would be by switching sides, and fighting these "uber" pilots we had in the squad, and getting my butt shot down over and over. Consider it a challenge, and when they kill you quick, ask them how they did it, or film it. You will not learn much flying in a horde, and surrounding yourself with other "new" pilots.
About a year ago (maybe more) I attacked Shane from a position of strength, I had the better turning plane and I had alt. I boomed in, and after a beautiful merge on his part, I was shot down QUICK. I upped again, attacked again, and was killed again, same move. I asked him HOW he did it, and asked nicely if he would let me flim mergin' on him w/ guns off. He LET me (I was shocked, at the time I had thought him a bully/meanie from all his trash talk) and I flimed the merge from 2-3 diff attack angles (fast, slow, etc.) and thanked him for letting me film it all. After maybe 6 fights, I finally killed him, gave him a and I immediately logged to watch the film. After viewing it 10 times, and lots of wiggling of my hands (ended up usin' empty cig packs) to try and figure out WHAT he had done, and WHY it worked, I figured out the move.
I still use a variant of that merge to this day (mine's a bit more timid, but basically just as good imho) and I give much respect to Shane for his helping me out.
You might consider asking one of the "vets" to allow you to .join them during one of their sorties, and SEE how they are doing what they do. If you are in a squad of only "new" pilots, I would consider looking for another squad that has member that can teach you. The suggestion to move from the country with #'s is a good one, as you won't learn much gangbanging in a 10 on 2. Spend some time in the TA, or Dueling Arena, and ask lot's of questions.
Give it at least six months. Half the fun (heck, more than half) is clawing your way to the top. I've been on AH now for two years, and consider myself "good", but I can think of a dozen that are "better". It wasn't easy getting here, but I had a GREAT time learning. I now can fly my 110 o' death (the main ride I picked for this tour) and take much joy in killing spitfires in stall fights.