Author Topic: (throws this against the wall and runs like heck)  (Read 1011 times)

Offline mosgood

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(throws this against the wall and runs like heck)
« on: November 21, 2004, 10:13:35 AM »
Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and
understand why you would propose and support a
constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you
said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man
and a woman."  I try to share that knowledge with as many
people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination...  End of
debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:
19-24.  The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking,
but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
is, my neighbors.  They claim the odor is not pleasing to
them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the
police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are
there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I
wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is
there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though Lev. 19 expressly
forbids this:  27.  How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I
wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these
things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in
such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
and unchanging.

Offline Torque

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« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2004, 10:30:53 AM »
:mad: :mad: :o :( :confused: :eek: :) :p :lol

Offline Seeker

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« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2004, 10:43:41 AM »
Fantastic!

Offline Holden McGroin

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« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2004, 10:47:51 AM »
Mosgood....

You've quoted old testament scripture.

Christianity is based on the belief that no one can follow all the laws of the old testament, and that Christ brought us a new set of rules.

In the new testament many of the problems you find in the old are resolved.  For instance in the books of Acts, Peter has a vision where dietary rules are relaxed.
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Offline parker00

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« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2004, 10:49:41 AM »
Very good points, can't wait to see to see what the far right has to say.



68Parker

Offline mosgood

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« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2004, 05:29:12 PM »
actually,  it was just an email sent to me and a bunch toers from a freind.  He probably got it from sone one else

Offline Hawklore

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« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2004, 05:32:42 PM »
Thats good...

The bible is confusing, yes, no, maybe, not quite sure...


Can't God make up his/her mind?


Cause, the world would be so much more easier............ Ooooooh I get it, God's ***king with us...
"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life." - Chief Tecumseh

Offline StarOfAfrica2

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« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2004, 06:14:57 PM »
Whoever wrote it got it from an episode of "West Wing".

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2004, 06:15:20 PM »
Wow....lets take a look at the Koran and make quotes from it without reading the whole passage.  If I had time right now the pasages are only partial quotes on almost all of them.

Why do people have to be so intolerent of religion and of those that think being gay is wrong and unnatural.

Offline Vulcan

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« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2004, 06:24:12 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Holden McGroin
Mosgood....

You've quoted old testament scripture.

Christianity is based on the belief that no one can follow all the laws of the old testament, and that Christ brought us a new set of rules.

In the new testament many of the problems you find in the old are resolved.  For instance in the books of Acts, Peter has a vision where dietary rules are relaxed.


Did this happen before or after the great flood? If God changed the rules after the flood then theres gonna be a whole lotta pissed of people in hell. Or did he use Jezuz to deliver the new terms in a middle management takes the crap kind of way?

Offline Sikboy

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« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2004, 06:25:11 PM »
This was a lot funnier in 2000.


When it was addressed to Dr. Laura

:p

-Sik
You: Blah Blah Blah
Me: Meh, whatever.

Offline Holden McGroin

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« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2004, 06:31:17 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Vulcan
Did this happen before or after the great flood? If God changed the rules after the flood then theres gonna be a whole lotta pissed of people in hell. Or did he use Jezuz to deliver the new terms in a middle management takes the crap kind of way?


The new testament is the story of Christ and the disciples, and the message JC brought.  Jesus walked on water, but I believe it wasn't to go over and talk to Noah.

Noah is in Genesis.

Don't know how those previous to Christ are reconciled.
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Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2004, 06:44:47 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Vulcan
Did this happen before or after the great flood? If God changed the rules after the flood then theres gonna be a whole lotta pissed of people in hell. Or did he use Jezuz to deliver the new terms in a middle management takes the crap kind of way?


OK.....here is Christianity in a nutshell for those of you who don't get it.

God sent his only son to the world.  He was the perfect man and lived with out sin.  That is the gift he gives us....the only perfect person to give up his own life so everyone else can be forgiven of their sins.  THAT is why the "rules changed" so to speak.  I don't understand why some of you left wing fascists here don't appreciate  what Christ had to offer, if you think about it he was the origninal hippie...peace...love...ect.

Offline TweetyBird

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« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2004, 07:00:09 PM »
Don't worry, the wierdo right will come in here and blame it all on communists or blacks. I wish rabbits were as predictable..


oh wait- they are

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2004, 07:00:55 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by TweetyBird
Don't worry, the wierdo right will come in here and blame it all on communists or blacks. I wish rabbits were as predictable..


oh wait- they are


Do you have an updated version?