Worst Movie EVER !!!!!!

[wombatt]

Originally posted by Estes
Alright, forgot the name of it. Has Tom Cruise in it..I wanna say it has vanilla in it. But I don't remember. That movie sucked.

More recently, Open Water.

I rented that thinking, hey cool a shark movie.

Watched it, bad acting, crappy - low budget film. I dunno, the camera just seemed weird.

You never really see a shark bite them.

And the whole movie, you watch them bobbing up and down on the ocean.

Yeah I thought she was pushing him away from her so the sharks would leave her alone and feed on him.

I have to admit i did not expect her to give in.

But i see you're point it did seem like a low buget "B" movie.

[rpm]

Originally posted by wombatt
But i see you're point it did seem like a low buget "B" movie.

That's because it was. Open Water was was financed by director Chris Kentis and his wife, producer Laura Lau, both avid scuba divers. It was filmed on weekends and holidays with a crew that usually consisted of two or three people. It cost $130,000 to make and was later bought by Lion's Gate for $2.5 million after its screening at Sundance.

[Dune]

For all your unholy bad movie viewing needs, I bring you:

B Movie Reviews

Not only will you learn about movies that you've never heard of, but the reviews are so funny you sometimes think about seeing them.

Such as the review for:

NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES  
Not Rated
Copyright 1981 Films Dara.
Reviewed A long time ago.

 CHARACTERS
 Vincent - Interpol agent, suffers from a serious case of "I'm a nice guy." Chomped.
 Lea - Female reporter, she's a great deal better looking with her top off. Turned into human mush.
 Lieutenant Mike London - Leader of the crack Interpol unit, a strangely poetic man... ...until he gets munched.
 Santoro - Unbalanced guy, he enjoys playing "keep away" with the beasties. Eventually fails to "keep away."
 Two Dudes - One is Lea's cameraman, the other an Interpol guy. Both become zombie chow.
 Josie, Hubby, and the Kid - Fodder, she gets eaten by a random zombie and the kid becomes one then chews his dad's neck out.
 The Zombies - Created by a chemical/nuclear accident, something like that.

PLOT
This was awful, coming from myself that's quite a statement. Twenty minutes into the flick I was trying to come up with a way to get revenge against the director of this one.

In New Guinea (you heard me, funny little island in the Pacific) some sort of chemical/nuclear research project, based in a refinery, goes terribly wrong. Half a world away the special Interpol team led by Lieutenant London is dispatched to find out what. The International Criminal Police Organization is called out to investigate the disaster at a nuclear facility?

They don't take a boat to the offshore facility though. They get airdropped miles inland! Plus, they're all dubbed over; it sounds like a bunch of guys from the Bronx, NYC. Anyway, they run into some news reporters who are having zombie problems, like the seven year old kid munching through dad's neck.

After some suitable idiocy they learn to shoot the brain. They never put this to use though. The morons just keep pumping bullets into every other body part except the head. The surviving reporters accompany the policemen through several boring encounters with undead. The survivors from those finally arrive at the research center. This is good, it signals the movie's end is near, and so are the actors - everybody dies! End of story.

At one point the travelers hear drums, so Lea says that she has to make friends with the natives! The young lady then proceeds to whip her shirt off, slap some face paint on, and go jogging into the village. The sight of a woman jogging topless lifted my spirits for a few moments, before the assneck director again threw stock footage at me. Prepare to see numerous segments lifted from "Animal Kingdom" or "National Geographic" specials. One moment you're watching a zombie shamble along, the next it's a horde of fruit bats roosting. If you think that's bad wait until you see people constantly "paralyzed with fear" as the zombies approach. Complete idiocy, unless you are a serious bad movie enthusiast (or want to torture your friends) avoid this one.

 THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIE
 One zombie rat can kill a full grown man.
 People will stare in paralyzed horror at a zombie eating someone.
 Eco terrorists talk too much.
 Zombies are usually mistaken for lepers.
 Modern battle tanks are no match for spear chucking natives.
 Bras are good. (Leaf through a National Geographic, you'll understand.)
 The natives of New Guinea use synthesizers.
 Zombies are not very good at tag.
 The undead love to wear polyester.
 Zombies can't swim.

 THINGS TO LOOK FOR
 2 mins - Is this a movie about disco or zombies?
 9 mins - Why did that guy pull his own gas mask off when the zombie attacked?
 23 mins - These guys could sure use a group hug.
 31 mins - You need a bigger gun.
 34 mins - Hey morons, didn't he tell you to shoot them in the head?
 37 mins - Stock "National Geographic" footage.
 38 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
 42 mins - Stock footage.
 55 mins - How did he get behind her?
 64 mins - Stock footage of birds catching fish?
 79 mins - Stock footage of fruit bats? Couldn't you guys afford film?

[Skydancer]

Total b****x

Hollywood rewrites WW2 yet again!

So bad it made me angry!

If the Russians had made such a fabrication we'd have called it propaganda!

[Otto]

Worst Movie Ever

I was always told it was Ed Wood's "Plan Nine from Outerspace"

But, there have been a lot of movies since then....

[Mini D]

Ed Wood made movies in a day.  There were no pretences and no illusions.

The truly bad movies come from people that were actually trying to do something more and failed miserably.

[Otto]

Originally posted by Mini D
Ed Wood made movies in a day.  There were no pretences and no illusions.

The truly bad movies come from people that were actually trying to do something more and failed miserably.

Good point....!

[SuperDud]

I'd have to go with A.I. (artifical intellegence). I think spellburg directed and the kid from the 6th sense was the star. I was against it from the start but the g/f insisted. It started well enough with the kid being replaced with a robot(they thought the kid was going to die and the parents solution was to replace him with a robot???). After this I knew I was in for a ride... right to the crash sight:) Anyway, real kid gets better and parents dump the robot? He goes on some big adventure and ends up getting trapped under water. I thought mercifully, that was the end. The screen went to black and I was ready for the credits BUT NO! Screen comes back up and theres aliens...that's right aliens digging him up. OMFG! It was beyond pathetic, beyond so dumb it's funny. I felt...numb. It is truely the worst movie I ever saw. Thank you for giving me this therapy session, I'm still trying to get over the horror that film has done to me:lol