She does not speak for me.

[Bodhi]

She Does Not Speak for Me

My son died in Iraq--and it was not in vain.

BY RONALD R. GRIFFIN

I lost a son in Iraq and Cindy Sheehan does not speak for me.  I grieve with Mrs. Sheehan, for all too well I know the full measure of the agony she is forever going to endure. I honor her son for his service and sacrifice. However, I abhor all that she represents and those who would cast her as the symbol for parents of our fallen soldiers.

The fallen heroes, until now, have enjoyed virtually no individuality. They have been treated as a monolith, a mere number. Now Mrs. Sheehan, with adept public relations tactics, has succeeded in elevating herself above the rest of us. Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida declared that Mrs. Sheehan is now the symbol for all parents who have lost children in Iraq. Sorry, senator. Not for me.

Maureen Dowd of the New York Times portrays Mrs. Sheehan as a distraught mom standing heroically outside the guarded gates of the most powerful and inhumane man on earth, President Bush. Ms. Dowd is so moved by Mrs. Sheehan's plight that she bestowed upon her and all grieving parents the title of "absolute moral authority." That characterization epitomizes the arrogance and condescension of anyone who would presume to understand and speak for all of us. How can we all possess "absolute moral authority" when we hold so many different perspectives?

I don't want that title. I haven't earned that title.


 


Although we all walk the same sad road of sorrow and agony, we walk it as individuals with all the refreshing uniqueness of our own thoughts shaped in large measure by the life and death of our own fallen hero. Over the past few days I have reached out to other parents and loved ones of fallen heroes in an attempt to find out their reactions to all the attention Mrs. Sheehan has attracted. What emerges from those conversations is an empathy for Mrs. Sheehan's suffering but a fundamental disagreement with her politics.
Ann and Dale Hampton lost their only child, Capt. Kimberly Hampton, on Jan. 2, 2004, while she was flying her Kiowa helicopter. She was a member of the 82nd Airborne and the company commander. She had already served in Afghanistan before being deployed to Iraq. Ann Hampton wrote, "My grief sometimes seems unbearable, but I cannot add the additional baggage of anger. Mrs. Sheehan has every right to protest . . . but I cannot do that. I would be protesting the very thing that Kimberly believed in and died for."

Marine Capt. Benjamin Sammis was Stacey Sammis's husband. Ben died on April 4, 2003, while flying his Super Cobra helicopter. Listen to Stacey and she will tell you that she is just beginning to understand the enormousness of the character of soldiers who knowingly put their lives at risk to defend our country. She will tell you that one of her deepest regrets is that the world did not have the honor of experiencing for a much longer time this outstanding Marine she so deeply loved.

Speak to Joan Curtin, whose son, Cpl. Michael Curtin, was an infantryman with the 2-7th 3rd ID, and her words are passionately ambivalent. She says she has no room for bitterness. She has a life to lead and a family to nurture. She spoke of that part of her that never heals, for that is where Michael resides. She can go on, always knowing there will be that pain.

Karen Long is the mother of Spc. Zachariah Long, who died with my son Kyle on May 30, 2003. Zack and Kyle were inseparable friends as only soldiers can be, and Karen and I have become inseparable friends since their deaths. Karen's view is that what Mrs. Sheehan is doing she has every right to do, but she is dishonoring all soldiers, including Karen's son, Zack. Karen cannot comprehend why Mrs. Sheehan cannot seem to come to grips with the idea that her own son, Casey, was a soldier like Zack who had a mission to complete. Karen will tell you over and over again that Zack is not here and no one, but no one will dishonor her son.

My wife, Robin, has a different take on Mrs. Sheehan. She told me, "I don't care what she says or does. She is no more important than any other mother."


 


By all accounts Spc. Casey Sheehan, Mrs. Sheehan's son, was a soldier by choice and by the strength of his character. I did not have the honor of knowing him, but I have read that he attended community college for three years and then chose to join the Army. In August 2003, five months into Operation Iraqi Freedom and after three years of service, Casey Sheehan re-enlisted in the Army with the full knowledge there was a war going on, and with the high probability he would be assigned to a combat area. Mrs. Sheehan frequently speaks of her son in religious terms, even saying that she thought that some day Casey would be a priest. Like so many of the individuals who have given their lives in service to our country, Casey was a very special young man. How do you decry that which someone has chosen to do with his life? How does a mother dishonor the sacrifice of her own son?
Mrs. Sheehan has become the poster child for all the negativity surrounding the war in Iraq. In a way it heartens me to have all this attention paid to her, because that means others in her position now have the chance to be heard. Give equal time to other loved ones of fallen heroes. Feel the intensity of their love, their pride and the sorrow.

To many loved ones, there are few if any "what ifs." They, like their fallen heroes before them, live in the world as it is and not what it was or could have been. Think of the sacrifices that have brought us to this day. We as a country made a collective decision. We must now live up to our decision and not deviate until the mission is complete.

Thirty-five years ago, a president faced a similar dilemma in Vietnam. He gave in and we got "peace with honor." To this day, I am still searching for that honor. Today, those who defend our freedom every day do so as volunteers with a clear and certain purpose. Today, they have in their commander in chief someone who will not allow us to sink into self-pity. I will not allow him to. The amazing part about talking to the people left behind is that I did not want them to stop. After speaking to so many I have come away with the certainty of their conviction that in a large measure it's because of the deeds and sacrifices of their fallen heroes that this is a better and safer world we now live in.

Those who lost their lives believed in the mission. To honor their memory, and because it's right, we must believe in the mission, too.

We refuse to allow Cindy Sheehan to speak for all of us. Instead, we ask you to learn the individual stories. They are glorious. Honor their memories.

Honor their service. Never dishonor them by giving in. They never did.

Mr. Griffin is the father of Spc. Kyle Andrew Griffin, a recipient of the Army Commendation Medal, Army Meritorious Service Medal and the Bronze Star, who was killed in a truck accident on a road between Mosul and Tikrit on May 30, 2003.

[cpxxx]

It's a pity any of them had to die.

It's a pity more have to die.

I hope there is some honour in it.

[Eagler]

same could be said for any fireman or police officer,

knowning the risks, it was the career they choose

the mother is embarrassing the son with her media circus actions

now if he were drafted, forced against his will to serve, it'd be different

[weasel4]

These Marines, Soldiers, Airmen & Sailors should all be proud of there service to our country regardless of who, what, when, where or how.  As a former Marine I am Grateful daily for the blanket of protection our armed forces provide me.  

I sympotise with the grieving parents/relatives for any serviceman lost in conflict.  On the other hand I look at many of the Men and Women who served in Vietnam.  By no way am I comparing the two conflicts however; it's hard not to.  

If anyone has an issue with what our boys are accomplishing over there I ask the question;  "would you rather fight them there or in your hometown"

Semper Fi:aok

[mosgood]

Originally posted by Eagler

the mother is embarrassing the son with her media circus actions
 

I don't think so.  Her actions only speak of herself.  Her son did what he felt he had to do and that's how I'll think of him.

[Habu]

In WW1 thousands of men lost their lives just about every day. They were led by incompetant leaders and poorly equiped and trained. They lives were wasted in useless attacks that achieved nothing and served little purpose.

Today the men fighting in Iraq are led by competant generals and have the best equipment and training available. They have expensive and effective body armour and instant access to the best heath care if necessary. But as in every conflict still men will die and some in trajic circumstances.

In WW1 people did not know the extent of the horror of what was going on in the trenches and the men in the trenches did not know how bad or different the war was from any before. They accepted their fate and did their duty because they believed in the cause.

That war was won because support for the war never waivered.

With a the advent of instant access to information the success of a war has now become almost dependant on the ability to maintain support in the US public.

This is well known and understood by those fighting the US in Iraq. And there is a large lobby of people in the US who for various reasons (including supporting those the US are fighting) are against war for any reason, no matter how justified.

For the US to be able to promote democracy and fight their enemies they need to show that they can and will back up their words with actions. Once the dialog is over their needs to be a credible threat of action if necessary.

Or else North Korea and Iran will develop nuclear weapons and sell them to whoever they want to. And countries will support terrorists like Libyia did in the 80's and the Taliban did until recently.

Therefore the US must continue the fight and people like Ms Sheehan must me reconized for what they are which is pawns of the anti war lobby.

If the will to fight and stand up for a cause in always going to be not as important as loseing a life in a conflict then the free democratic way of life is doomed. For once freedom is taken from a people there is usually no way for a people to get it back without support from an outside country.

[Hangtime]

Originally posted by cpxxx
It's a pity any of them had to die.

It's a pity more have to die.

I hope there is some honour in it.

A soldier soldiers. Regardless of the commentary of press and civilians, a soldier sodiers on.

Duty. Honor. Country. When it was my time to serve I served knowing that the press and civilians reviled my duty. While doing my duty I served to protect my fellow soldiers, obeyed the lawful orders of my superiors and left the politics to the politicians.

Regardless of the outcome portrayed by my civilian counterparts and their elected politicans, my service was honorable. I posess the document that states that clearly, in no uncertain terms.

The boys we have in uniform today serve the same nation, the same army, and fight for the same reasons all soldiers have fought... for each other, their unit, their survival. They too see only their duty, their attention to it and their follow soldiers as the only valid judges of and for their actions under fire.

The hell with the press, the wailing mothers decrying their mission, the waffling politicans and talking heads. Our soldiers have a job to do. Support them.

If you have no taste for the war, have doubts as citizens as to the polity of the war, then by all means; exercise your rights as citizens to let the government know your displeasure.

But do not dishonor our servicemen by second guessing THEIR honor. There is ALWAYS honor in a soldier doing his duty. ALWAYS.

[Gunthr]

Thankfully, Cindy Sheehan speaks for only a small sliver of the American pie...

... those who sieze on every combat death, sacrifice, tradgedy or snafu of the war - like ants on a fish head...

... and those who don't have the common decency to at least start a new paragraph after telling us that they honor these heroes before inserting their politics and telling us that they are dupes in a war for oil, led by the greatest terrorist on earth.

Next thing you know, Cindy Sheehan will be endorsing candidates for the next election.  Oh, she resonates all
right ... but I noticed that she has no support from mainstreamers.

[Maverick]

Hang,

I was going to answer that post as well but you did it better than I could have. The fact that someone can't see honor says more about themselves than it does for anyone else.

The only way those soldiers could have died in vain is if the people back home make the decision to turn their backs on what they died for. That is no dishonor to the soldiers, it is soley the dishonor of those who do that.

[Clifra Jones]

I only have one thing to say to the far left who are supporting and manupulating this woman.

When the enemy was facism you were with us.
When the enemy was communism you were not.


Where are you now?!?!

[Hangtime]

Originally posted by Maverick
Hang,

I was going to answer that post as well but you did it better than I could have. The fact that someone can't see honor says more about themselves than it does for anyone else.

The only way those soldiers could have died in vain is if the people back home make the decision to turn their backs on what they died for. That is no dishonor to the soldiers, it is soley the dishonor of those who do that.

In this particular case, I suspect a poor choice of words, not a lack of respect. Regardless, I was moved to respond.. and hold no ill feeling at all for the fella that penned the post I quoted.

[straffo]

Originally posted by Gunthr
Thankfully, Cindy Sheehan speaks for only a small sliver of the American pie...

... but I noticed that she has no support from mainstreamers.

How can you back this with facts ?
(I'm just curious and a bit vicious also )

[mauser]

Thank you to those who serve / have served honorably!  From my reply in that "other" thread (which probably was ignored):

For a "fair and balanced" view of parents who've lost children in this war, you need to see a counter-article. Here is an article about Mrs. Natalie Healy. She is the mother of Senior Chief Daniel Healy, who was killed in action in Afghanistan when the MH-47 he and fellow SEALs and 160th SOAR members was shot down.

From what I've gathered on the opinions of mil bloggers and guys who have gone for a tour and come back, it is imperative that we do not waiver at home. If you really want to see morale drop in the units that are doing the fighting, then go ahead and pull them out before the job is done.  THEN it will seem like a waste of all the effort put in.

http://www.theunionleader.com/artic...l?article=59189

Mother of fallen SEAL says she still supports the war
By SCOTT BROOKS
Union Leader Staff
Merchants Automotive Group

Natalie Healy made a decision this summer after losing her son in war-torn Afghanistan.

"I can't go to those mountains and climb them and I can't shoot a gun," she said. "But I can do everything I can to make sure we stay the course, and if that means speaking out, then that's what I want to do."

Less than two months after the death of her son, Navy SEAL Senior Chief Petty Officer Daniel Healy, the Exeter mother and small business owner is following through on her word.


Natalie Healy of Exeter is shown with her son, Navy SEAL Senior Chief Petty Officer Daniel Healy, at his wedding. (COURTESY PHOTO)
Healy is making her feelings known in response to the nation's interest in a California mother who has camped outside President Bush's Texas ranch to protest the war in Iraq. Cindy Sheehan's 24-year-old son was killed in Iraq last year.

Healy said she initially sympathized with the grief-stricken mom. Now, however, as Sheehan's message continues to fill the airwaves, Healy said she fears a backlash against the war on terrorism.

"It's sort of like a tidal wave," Healy said. "And it's gaining and gaining and gaining. And I'm not sure what will stop it, to tell you the truth.

"My big concern is that the enemy will use Cindy Sheehan to their benefit. They will point to her and say, 'See? See how this American is calling the President a murderer? See how they're going to start weakening from within?'"

Healy said she was booked to speak on MSNBC's "Hardball" with Chris Matthews last night. The interview got bumped just a few hours before the show, she said.

But Healy said spreading her voice to support the war effort is her "new mission in life."

"I'm hoping, by having another mother who's lost a son speaking out loudly and strongly, that the troops will hear it and be heartened by it," she said. "Because we all know how they're always shocked when they get home and they find out what has been reported."

Several national polls show that a majority of Americans now consider the decision to invade Iraq a mistake. Healy herself said she initially had doubts about the war. She is now convinced the United States cannot leave Iraq just yet.

"The fact of the matter is, at this stage in the game, we're over there," she said. "We have to complete the mission."

Healy said she doubted Sheehan's son, Casey, would support his mother's mission.

Rather, she said, "I think my son would be happy that I was trying to remind people that we have to stay the course. We have to, without a doubt. And I know he'd be saying, 'OK, mom. Good. Good, mom.'"

Healy recognized the public's opinion of the Iraqi conflict is not the same as its opinion of the war in Afghanistan, where her son died June 28. Daniel Healy, a 36-year-old father of four, was one of 16 soldiers killed when insurgents shot down their helicopter.

But Healy said the two conflicts are part of the same war on terrorism, and it's a war the U.S. must continue to fight.

"I think fighting for freedom in Iraq and fighting for freedom in Afghanistan is one and the same," she said.

Healy is hopeful that the public will hear both sides in the debate over pulling U.S. troops from Iraq. It would be harmful, she said, if Sheehan's voice carried the day.

"I just don't want it to be the only story," Healy said. "I want the other voices to be heard so that the young men that fought with my son — that were broken-hearted from all their buddies getting killed — will know somebody else is speaking out for them. And maybe they won't be heard as much as Cindy Sheehan, but there's somebody trying, anyway."

[Skydancer]

"now if he were drafted, forced against his will to serve, it'd be different"

Actualy I find myself agreeing there. He was a volunteer after all and a volunteer to a dangerous and difficult proffesion requiring immense courage.

Anyone who volunteers to defend their nation is brave and courageous. What a shame they are having their lives wasted in a war which far from defending their nation has actualy made our countries more dangerous places to be. Its a criminal misuse of these people's bravery and commitment.

[Bodhi]

Skyprancer, we can deal with out your political views mucking this thread up.