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Author Topic: When the time comes are you prepared?  (Read 739 times)

Offline Ripsnort

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #15 on: September 19, 2005, 04:48:30 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Shuckins
That's what empty milk jugs are for, boy.  Always keep a pair near the pc.  One for number one, and the second, with top cut out, for number two.  Save your left over corncobs for the cleaning up.


Great, thanks for that image...after picking fresh sweet corn out of the garden today, I am changing the menu for tonights meal to that of fresh sweet peas out of the garden. :furious
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Offline Xargos

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« Reply #16 on: September 19, 2005, 04:56:17 PM »
You know they don't serve corn-on-the-cob at a female prison.  :D
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Jeffery R."Xargos" Ward

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Offline Ripsnort

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #17 on: September 19, 2005, 04:59:48 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Xargos
You know they don't serve corn-on-the-cob at a female prison.  :D


And you'll never find a female at a prison willing to cut up cucumbers for a salad...:rolleyes:
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Offline Xargos

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« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2005, 05:05:35 PM »
Don't serve cucumbers in this State either.  There is no handles on the brooms or mops...lol
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Jeffery R."Xargos" Ward

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Offline Jackal1

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2005, 05:25:54 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Shuckins
Save your left over corncobs for the cleaning up.


Ahhhh the good ole days. The corn crib was always there and always stocked. :)

For the "socks" question: Yea, I`m wearing socks. They are Monday`s socks. If I used them I would be totaly out of sequence all week. :)

  For the bidet suggestions: The way I always understood a bidet`s use it was for females.................and of course the Brits. :)
  OK, you use the bidet. Then what? Does it have a spin dry cycle on it? What I thought. Now you have reached the "Charmin has left the building stage". Back to square one.
  As has been suggested here, some of the newer ones may have a hot air blower system on them. Not for me. If I want hot air blown up my posterior I have the O`club for that.
:aok
« Last Edit: September 19, 2005, 05:34:07 PM by Jackal1 »
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storch

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2005, 06:08:08 PM »
at my house we have a bidet adjacent to the toilet.
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Offline airbumba

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2005, 07:31:00 PM »
Well I still use the newspaper as backup. And I might add, I have the most well informed prettythang in town.
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Offline Curval

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2005, 07:37:33 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Toad
Cuval, I think it's just for "fumes".

[qutoe]Automatically starts operating when you sit down and stops approximately 1 minute after you stand up.  The Silver impregnated charcoal filter will last up to 7 years.  
   
[/B][/QUOTE]

Ahhh...well that's too bad.

Still:

An extra c-note gets the enema wash feature.  Gotta love that action.
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Offline Jackal1

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2005, 08:37:44 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by airbumba
Well I still use the newspaper as backup. And I might add, I have the most well informed prettythang in town.
 


rofl
I knew someone would step up to the plate.
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Offline vorticon

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2005, 08:43:55 PM »
paper towel is usually readily available...
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Offline FiLtH

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« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2005, 12:26:59 AM »
Option 1.  Grab a washcloth and use it, and carefully hide it deep in the back of the lavatory, in behind the feminine pads.

Option 2.  Use yer fingers. The sink is right there!
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Offline beet1e

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« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2005, 04:03:12 AM »
Jackal. There's no solution in your case. You'll always be full of crap. :rofl
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Offline Jackal1

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« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2005, 07:10:37 AM »
It stems from years of driving those 50`s model, 5-6 mpg gas guzzlers that you were speaking of earlier Beet. :)
  Since you constantly talk the same, I`m sure you are well versed on the subject.
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Offline SKJohn

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« Reply #28 on: September 20, 2005, 09:59:46 AM »
Heard this one from my son:

(Song started out something about "stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl.....)


"To prove you're a man, you gotta wipe with your hand!"





















He says that he's actually "proved he's a man"......:huh
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Offline Sixpence

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When the time comes are you prepared?
« Reply #29 on: September 20, 2005, 10:07:15 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Toad
Of course, the Yank models would have 300 HP and use 50 gallons per minute ... but hey....


does an enema clean your colon?
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"My grandaddy always told me, "There are three things that'll put a good man down: Losin' a good woman, eatin' bad possum, or eatin' good possum."" - Holden McGroin

(and I still say he wasn't trying to spell possum!)
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