Author Topic: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?  (Read 1107 times)

Offline Toad

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« on: December 19, 2001, 01:54:00 PM »
Breeds of dog and their answers:

   GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and   you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?

   BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.

   DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

   ROTTWEILER: Make me.

   LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

   MALAMUTE: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's
busy.

   JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.

   POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

   HUNGARIAN PULI: Not me. Look what happened to my hair the last time I
tried.

   COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.

   DOBERMAN PINSCHER: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

   BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

   CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

   IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover . .

   POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . .

   GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?

   AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little
circle . . . .

   OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb.

   HOUND DOG: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zz.

   CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So
the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline Raubvogel

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2001, 01:57:00 PM »
Hehe, that Border Collie one is right on the mark. Those are some smart assed dogs.

Offline midnight Target

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2001, 02:03:00 PM »
Exactly why I loved my old black lab.

Offline Curval

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2001, 02:12:00 PM »
What would a German Shepard say?

"Ve have vays of making YOU change ze lightbulbs?"

I have always had Sheps....fantastic animals.  I am still in mourning over the loss of my last one...sniff  :(
Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain

Offline miko2d

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2001, 02:24:00 PM »
I had a wonderfull black german shep for 13 years.
 But the best dog breed is a Boxer - playfull even in the old age, infinitely patient with children (probably safest breed to have around children) but vicious protector, very smart - though requiring a strong hand due to exess exuberance.
 And of course the most beautifull and gratious dog of all.

 miko

Offline AKDejaVu

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2001, 02:43:00 PM »
Hehe.. a German Shepard would say "Changing a lightbulb is your job... its my duty to make sure nobody comes near you while you do it."

AKDejaVu

Offline Regurge

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2001, 02:47:00 PM »
DALMATIAN: I don't get it. Would it help if we go for a run?

Offline Raubvogel

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2001, 02:49:00 PM »
I think a German Shepherd would really say "That lightbulb was obviously undermodeled. It only lasted 10,000 hours and it should last 15,000 hours."  :)

Offline Tac

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2001, 02:58:00 PM »
Amen. Boxers are THE best breed. Btw, Cross a Boxer with a Labrador and you'll get a BEAUTIFUL dog. Im serious, that mix results in a fricken LARGE, heavy, very playful and smart dog. The only drawback seems to be the bone structure, its not exactly up to the job of supporting the weight.. but if you have a boxer (f) and a lab (m) with a pedigree of strong bones, and you want another dog, do breed them.

Dalmatians would say: "Dont! Im still chewing on the sandals!!"

Offline Vermillion

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2001, 03:40:00 PM »
Amen Brothers, I've had 3 Boxers and they are easily the best dogs I've EVER had  :)

My current one, named Katrina aka "Kat", just turned one year old.  And though she is small for a boxer (about 50lbs so far) she has the best personality and is the most intelligent.

Offline AKDejaVu

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2001, 04:06:00 PM »
If we are getting into "Best Breed" discussions... I have to go with Labs.

I have 3 mutts, my neighbors have German Shepards, Golden Retrievers and Great Danes.  My parents had a boxer.  All are great dogs in good homes.

The dog that stands out from the rest is one that my Mother-in-Law inherited with the house they bought up on the mountain (Mt. Hood.. Zigzag area)... a Yellow Lab.  The dog is known in the community as "Luke that fought the bear".  It has (had) tangled with a brown bear, a cougar and more than a few other beasts and come away strutting.  The dog had one of the most mellow demeanors I've ever seen except when it came down to buisness.  He was also the ladies man.  When we went over to visit on the holidays, there would always be 5 or 6 female dogs sitting on the front porch waiting for him to come out.  It was fricking hilarious.  He was quite simply the coolest dog I've ever known.

AKDejaVu

Offline 1776

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2001, 04:08:00 PM »
I think the cat has the best grasp regarding whos job it is to maintain the lighting :)

Offline Hangtime

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2001, 04:19:00 PM »
WESTIE: I'll lick it for yah if you change it.

CAT: Screw you; bozo, I can see just fine in the dark.
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline midnight Target

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2001, 04:48:00 PM »
My Black Lab could catch a frisbee on the fly every time at 20+ yards....she was amazing. I couldn't throw a rock that far today   :( .

I once had a VERY cool dog that was 1/2 Sharpei and 1/2 Golden Retriever. Looked like a Pit bull in the body, with a labish head and face. Had a Golden's temperment too. Could almost pass for a yellow lab.

Poor guy was the escape artist from hell, and when I moved from the country to the city he couldn't handle the walls.

Offline miko2d

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2001, 05:04:00 PM »
Labs are great dogs but once they grow up, they become much less playfull then they were as puppies - like most other dog.
 I knew scores of dogs and most were pretty hard to induce to play after a year and a half.

 The boxer, on the other hand, will come to you and demand that you play/run with him/her even when old - every day, several times. You need a lot of energy if you want to own a boxer.
 I used to use an RC car to exercise mine without exhausting myself but now he learned to catch it in no time and turn it over. Have to get a faster model...

 miko