Author Topic: Why Why Why?  (Read 361 times)

Offline Chaos68

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Why Why Why?
« on: December 08, 2005, 02:40:47 PM »
Why, Why, Why
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
 
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
 
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
 
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
 
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
 
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
 
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Offline weaselsan

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Why Why Why?
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2005, 04:00:35 PM »
Why is there a permanent press setting on an iron?

Offline StarOfAfrica2

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Re: Why Why Why?
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2005, 04:57:38 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Chaos68
Why, Why, Why
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?


Kinetic energy?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

To get more money out of you of course.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

You cant touch stars.  Duh.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Everybody knows that.  They make the glue bottle out of horse's hooves.
 
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

So you can be sure the family wont sue you for infecting the corpse.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Wrapped his legs around one too many trees trying to stop himself on those high speed swings.  Notice Tarzan dont have any kids either.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Gunpowder and polyester dont mix.
 
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Habit?
 
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Dunno, but its funny as hell aint it?  :)

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

There has to be SOME stock to start over from when we kill each other off finally.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Whitey always comes out on top dont he?
 
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

The day the hotel reps come shopping.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?[?B]

Same reason my cat keeps coming back to her empty bowl.  She knows eventually I'll fill it.  I keep waiting for my wife to fill the fridge.  Same thing.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Seems to me there's an analogy to the welfare system in there somewhere, but I'm not going to pull it out.
 
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

Its called "operator error".
 
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Well, when they got in there they werent dead, see?  Dead bugs dont move much.  

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

You don't?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Cause you were clumsy enough to knock something off in the first place, why should rapid movement make you less likely to repeat it?
 
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

In the summer you weren't freezing your cajones off.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Are you kidding?  The poor guy already has to be married to your mother in law, thats bad enough without making fun of him for it.

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.


Thats a given, people have been telling me that for years.

Offline ravells

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Why Why Why?
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2005, 05:43:47 PM »
You have way to much time on your hands, Star of Africa.

Offline Wolfala

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Why Why Why?
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2005, 06:38:31 PM »
Why did they ban smoking on death row?


the best cure for "wife ack" is to deploy chaff:    $...$$....$....$$$.....$ .....$$$.....$ ....$$

Offline Mighty1

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Why Why Why?
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2005, 08:01:52 AM »
Why do places charge a fee for returned checks?

If the check bounces how the hell do they expect to get more from you?
I have been reborn a new man!

Notice I never said a better man.