Author Topic: "You MIGHT be a Democrat if:  (Read 1935 times)

Offline Toad

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 18415
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« on: September 08, 2000, 05:23:00 PM »
Just a little humor here...you Democrats try to keep your shorts un-knoted and make witty replies!  

You MIGHT be a Democrat if...


1. You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
 
2. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
 
4. You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You are against capital punishment but support abortion on demand; in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

8. You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

10.You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You believe the NRA is bad, because it supports only certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports only certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E.Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't. Because the right people haven't been in charge.

16. You believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar belongs in the White House.

19. You believe that a homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
 
21. You believe that one major airline instead of six is good for travelers.


OK, your turn!

 

If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline mietla

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2276
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2000, 05:37:00 PM »
This is a pretty accurate statement of the Libs' positions. I don't find it funny, disturbing is what comes to mind.

Offline Rebel

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 734
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2000, 06:31:00 PM »
Spot on toad.  

Hmmmmmmm.  You pretty much nailed every aspect I know of.

I'll keep in touch and edit with something once I have it  

------------------
-Rebel
JG2 "Richtofen"
"You Rebel Scum"
"You rebel scum"

Offline Karnak

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 23046
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2000, 07:33:00 PM »
Old post, but OK, here goes...

You MIGHT be a Democrat if...


1. You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

Nope.  Its spread by irresponsible people.  Government funding can reduce the rate at which it is spread and can significantly decrease the time to find a cure.

2. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You couldn't read until you were in the 4th grade?  Teachers shouldn't have to teach sex ed, but as nobody else seems to be willing to do it, it has fallen to them.  In California a form is sent home so that parents can accept or decline sex ed for their children.

3. You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

Nope.  Reagan and Bush shouldn't have let the Chinese steal our nuclear secrets and Clinton should've caught them earlier.

4. You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

Nope.  Art has a long history of being government funded.  Just because that government happened to be some Venician prince instead of an elected government doesn't mean that it wasn't funded, without taxpayer choice, by tax monies.  The idea of the NEA is that if art is only funded by the wealthy and corporations, the  poor will not have access to it.  Unfortunately some pretty tasteless things get funded, but we can't pick and choose without steping onto that slippery slope.

5. You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

Nope.  Pull your head outa your bellybutton if you think thats what the "global warming" people are talking about.  There IS increasing evidence that the average global tempatures have gon up by about 6 degrees f. over the last 150 years.  Due to the early start, it does seem that something else is also at work, but polution certainly seems to be accelerating it.

6. You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

Nope.  They are both natural to a degree.  Homosexuality may be a genetic flaw, but it does seem to be natural.  Gender roles are less fixed than they used to be due to the increasing opporunities provided by our prosperity.

7. You are against capital punishment but support abortion on demand; in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

Er, not quite.  I don't believe in removing civil liberities.  Killing somebody for a horrible crime is all and well, but lets give them a fair trial first.  You know, with competent defense and access to scientific tests, experts and investigators.  I personally don't like abortion, but it isn't my place to tell others what they can and cannot do.  

8. You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

Nope.  We just believe that both must be watched carefully as opposed to trusting business (which has no vested interest in anything other than your wallet) and not trusting government (which does have a vested interest in your survival as well as your wallet).

You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

Nope.  I beleive they both care about the environment.  For the most part, you've got crazy wackos in both groups.

10.You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Nope, but self esteem is important and should be encouraged.  I know that I'd of like to have been given a pat on the back and a bit of praise when I did something well.  Instead I got critisized for the weaknesses of what I'd done.

11. You believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

Nope.  'Nuff said.

12. You believe the NRA is bad, because it supports only certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports only certain parts of the Constitution.

Nope.  The ACLU supports all parts of the Bill of Rights.  The NRA doesn't even fully support the 2nd Amendment.

13. You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

Nope.  I beleive that we should pay off the National debt and then start talking about what to to with the surplus.  Tax breaks at that point would be great.  ATM fees are a joke because of the profit racket that banks already have.  If they weren't one of the most profitable businesses already I wouldn't have a problem withh the fees.

14. You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E.Lee or Thomas Edison.

Nope.  Accept for General Lee.  He didn't really change anything.

15. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't. Because the right people haven't been in charge.

Nope.  I don't think that standardized tests are racist.  Due to ongoing problems I don't think that we are ready to get rid of Affirmative Action yet, though that is certainly the end goal.

16. You believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

Absolutely.

17. You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

Nope.  Pure socialism and pure capitalism are both evil and flawed.  They must be balanced.

18. You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar belongs in the White House.

Depends on what truth they're telling.  If they are telling the truth about how many people they murdered and buried in their back yard, then yes.  Lying is not an impeachable offense.  I am heavily disappointed by him though.

19. You believe that a homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

Nope.  I don't think that either should be protected when on government property and both should be protected when on private property.

20. You believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

Nope.  I don't think that ANY non citizen should be allowed to donate money to political parties or action commitees.  That means no money from Businesses, Labor, Foreign Individuals, Foreign Businesses, Foreign Labor or Foreign Governments.  Only citizens of the US of A should be able to donate money.

21. You believe that one major airline instead of six is good for travelers.

Nope.


Thats it from this proud Liberal.

Sisu
-Karnak

Petals floating by,
      Drift through my woman's hand,
             As she remembers me-

Offline StSanta

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2496
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2000, 11:13:00 PM »
Heh. I've seen it before, and it's amusing.

Karnak's reply was pretty damned good too.

Man, I am glad I don't have to make *that* choice (US election)  .

Slick Willie was cool, I'd have voted for him, just because of his nick William "VelcroPants" Clinton.

Anyway, DUMA for president!



------------------
StSanta
JG54 "Grünherz"
"If you died a stones throw from your wingie; you did no wrong". - Hangtime

Offline Toad

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 18415
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2000, 07:44:00 PM »
I don't think Karnak really IS a Democrat!

 
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

funked

  • Guest
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2000, 07:45:00 PM »
Yeah Karnak let's see some ID!

Offline Karnak

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 23046
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2000, 03:11:00 PM »
I AM a registered Democrat, but only because that party is closer to my viewpoints than the Republican party.

I define myself, politically, as a Social Liberal and Fiscal Conservative.  Right now that means voting Democrat.  For example, I consider a tax cut right now to be a Fiscal Liberal policy, like wise, spending increases are a Fiscal Liberal policy.  I would like to see the national debt paid off.  That is a Fiscal Conservative issue.  The Democrats seem much more inclined to do this, although they insist on including tax cuts and spending increases with it.  The Repblicans are proposing to give almost all of the surplus back in the form of massive tax cuts for the wealthy and a few spending increases.  Democrats seem to be Fiscal Moderates by my belief and the Republicans are Fiscal Liberals.  The Democrats are Social Moderates and the Republicans are Social Conservatives.

Thats .5 each for the Dems and 0 each for the Repubs.  Dems get my vote 1 to 0.

 

Sisu
-Karnak
Petals floating by,
      Drift through my woman's hand,
             As she remembers me-

Offline Toad

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 18415
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2000, 03:26:00 PM »
These are supposed to be J-O-K-E-S!

Ironic things that make you smile.  
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

funked

  • Guest
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2000, 04:45:00 PM »
They made me smile Toad.  Then they made me cry.  

Offline ygsmilo

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 897
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2000, 04:46:00 PM »
Karnak,

I respect your opionion but I have one statement that really irks me,

"The Repblicans are proposing to give almost all of the surplus back in the form of massive tax cuts for the wealthy and a few spending increases."

Have you looked at who really pays the taxes in this country?  20% of the people in this country pay 80% of the taxes.  Why is being successful looked at as a bad thing in this country now.  Hard work and personel responsibility have allowed many people to get where they are at today.

I do not like the way the current political races are being turned into a class struggle.  



------------------
JG 2's current cannon magnet

Milo

Offline Karnak

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 23046
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2000, 06:55:00 PM »
Giving $45,000 in taxes back to a guy who makes $250,000 isn't class warfare, but giving a dollar raise over two years to people who make $5.15 is?

Gore's statement about being for the people agaist the powerful wasn't about the rich vs. the poor.  It was about the people, rich and poor alike, vs. the special interests.

Your standards are VERY biased I think.

I make twice what the average American makes (I make $46,000) and I would get approximately $250.00 back under Bush's plan.  Thats 10 dollars per paycheck.  That doesn't even buy me lunch.

I am content to pay my taxes because of the incredible opportunity that living in this country gives me and if, as I plan, my income should go up very significantly in the future, I would still be content to help my country.  The rich don't NEED help.  It would be nice to lower their tax rates, but lets get this debt that is slowing our economic growth off of our backs first.

In the 1990s:

CEO pay rose 530%
Dow Jones Industrial Average rose 260%
Worker pay rose 32%
Inflation was 27%
CEO pay after accounting for inflation rose 503%
Worker pay after accounting for inflation rose 5%
Workers average weekly hours increased 4%

What we can see from this is:

CEOs pay increased at twice the perfomance of their companies (DJ Industrial Average).

Workers pay increased mainly due to working greater hours, 4% more ours for 5% more income.

The rich are getting richer while the rest of us are struggling just to stay even.  The lions share of wealth in this nation has been concentrated in an ever smaller percentage of the population over the last 30 years.  We are moving towards a landed aristocracy.

The reason such luminaries as Abraham Lincoln (our greatest President), Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt all opposed a repeal of the Estate Tax was because it prevents, or at least hinders, the development of a landed aristocracy.  A landed aristocracy does not need noble titles, just the wealth.  The United States of America has always been about freedom and equality, we've stubbled at times but we try, and a landed aristocracy is incompatible with tose concepts.  The Democratic Estate Tax reform was much better reasoned out.  Increase the exemption range to $2,000,000 for an individual and to $4,000,000 for a couple.


That said, after the debt is paid off I would like to see some tax relief.  I should also note that I do not, in any way, support a system in which there is no way to VERY significantly increase ones wealth through ones own efforts.

Sisu
-Karnak
Petals floating by,
      Drift through my woman's hand,
             As she remembers me-

Offline StSanta

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2496
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2000, 12:13:00 AM »
Well.

As a Dane, I have a solution.

Give the money to me. Not to Denmark, but to me.

That way, all sides get cheated, and I benefit.

I believe that it says this is the way it is supposed to be in the book "101 steps to make life good; here's your Life Manual".

Sadly, I haven't found a manual on life yet, but it is *out there*.

Gotta agree with karnak on this one though.



------------------
StSanta
JG54 "Grünherz"
"If you died a stones throw from your wingie; you did no wrong". - Hangtime

Offline Hangtime

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 10148
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2000, 01:08:00 AM »
Damn Santa.. and I thought I was an opportunist!

Yup.. Karnaks my hero. And card carryin republicans are just un-informed sock puppets performing lip service fer the elitist rich. Show me a voter makin six figures and I'll show yah a republican.

About the only thing that ever trickled down on me during the last 4 republican administrations was sweat.. mine.

Flat tax.. everybody pays the same rate. I'm payin 30%; those fat assed rich SOB's can afford 30% too.. sure won't pork their lifestyles; like it does mine.. Bastids. Most of 'em don't even pay 2%. The salamanders.

 

I feel much better now.

Hang
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline StSanta

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2496
"You MIGHT be a Democrat if:
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2000, 05:10:00 AM »
LOL Hang

Had ya pegged as a republican.

There ya go; never trust first impressions  .

------------------
StSanta
JG54 "Grünherz"
"If you died a stones throw from your wingie; you did no wrong". - Hangtime