pass a little crow this way when you're done - oh and some salt too - kosher salt of course

i don't think i've ever seen a bigger man on this board udie, i really feel bad for some things i said now. some of that was pretty low and i'm sorry.
a time machine would be nice but i guess humilliation is the next best thing for me- apology accepted, and i hope you and the community will accept mine too.
---although-----
i have to say you really have no reason to apologize for not liking me. if you really feel that way about anti-semitic people, then it seems you are actually well within your rights.
my experiences have left me pissed off and it will take a long time to reverse (if ever) but it took a long time to get this way too. i didnt get this angry over night,
i am from the 70s man, i grew up thinking peace, love, happiness you know - i went to schools taught by hippies and full of all kinds of people from all over the damned place. except where regarding the jews, i am the least racist dude you could know, as ironic as that surely sounds after all of this!

after i moved to the city some years ago, sometimes at my jobs i would see and hear what the jews i worked with really thought about non-jews...also arounf the neighborhoods etc. they despised us fully and patronized us like we were 3 yrs old.
i remember going to lunches where they'd run the waitresses ragged, complain endlessly about EVERYTHING nonstop, regardless of how it actually was and then argue over the tip and try to get the bill lower!
i'll never forget getting reprimanded in an accounts payable position for actually paying a bill on time. we would use the old delay tactic to put off paying our bills even though we had ample cash levels just because it acts in the same way as taking out a no-interest loan does!
you buy something you really want and get the product - then you delay paying for it so you dont have to spend that months budget - you pay 3 mos later as if youd taken a no int loan on it - its a cheap way to scam a no interest loan and that was just one of the jewels i could relate to you.
it turns my stomach to think of what i did for them. various places too not just one...
i'll never forget all the condescending ways they treated nonjews. i only got into their circles in the first place because i was naive when i started and took a much lower salary than i could have. like a stupid dustbowl okie... i was a bargain and just wanted to get workin'.
i guess i got defensive and wanted to tell people hey! wake up! - but everyone just calls me a nazi and goes about their business. they spit out the same line about hate etc - i swear i think it comes from a single book somewhere...
i never even paid attention to last names before those episodes, i wouldnt have known a jew if they had fallen on my head, but when i started looking around i noticed: everywhere goldberg, everywhere katz, everywhere levin, everwhere greenbergs, blumbergs, rosens, silversteins, goldmans khasins....etc etc
all on the news, every professional bldg., everyone doling out opinions, making movies, producing advertising, suing people over some roadkill personal injury cases and then here are my parents still slaving on some GD shop floor as jet mechanics for the DoD after 30yrs and trying to keep their heads above water...
backs half broken and fingers stained from years of having em in oil....i thought - how come i didnt see this sooner!
i looked out across the call center at my work and saw all of 'my' people (whites blacks chinese mexi's etc) trying to look busy, listening to their calls get scrutinized and recorded, their productivity monitored all for some pathetic salary, only to take a slow walk and see nothing but jewish names along the offices on the wall - the directors etc.
those foolish goyim never saw the balance sheets, never saw who got paid what salary or what we really put away in profits. they'd have toejam their pants if they did and i feel like a traitor to them for keeping it confidential sometimes.
but i did see it and i did keep it on the under and i still only got a fraction of the whole sorry picture.
i saw that we spent more on limo service for one of our directors moms than some people's yearly salaries.
armed with this knowledge i had to go to company meetings and listen to the lemmings cheering for whatever roadkill line they were feeding us about everyone doing their share....on their way home later to fight with their husbands about the mortgage money and the mounting card bills. the freakin hamster wheel of life.
i dont care about the income disparity, its not one of those things...but when i hear those uppity fu*ks clown on regular working class nobodies like my folks like they are just idiots to squeeze a buck out of, or to make think a certain way or to 'brand' to, it gets me furious. really furious and really downhearted.
my folks dont sit back and monkey with an interest rate for a living or try to think up the perfect roadkill line to get the sheeple to buy more widgets, they make real things and do real work like hundreds of thousands of other 'dirty goy' every day. they keep this country pumping every single day.
sometimes i try to clown people at that level just to get em riled enough to demand more and think harder about things and question their beliefs more. i dont care if they hate me - i made em better at spotting it from someone else is my justification.
whatever!!!, i'm tired of crusading. it takes a lot out of me to fight the world all the time.
let's be real anyway...you can't blame the jews for being clever - i have to blame us for getting lost 'american dreaming' getting fat and stupid and looking for more and more convenience while others like the jews networked, hit the books, worked late hours, saved their money and were smart enough to avoid traps like credit cards and high interest loans. hell it's as likely sour grapes as anything.
why not get a loan from your family and save the interest? why isnt that common place with us? - there are jewish community centers all over the city where jews meet and network yet they only make up less than 3% of the population nationwide....where are the irish community centers or really necessary ones like the black community centers or hispanic? hispanics make up about half the state so why are they less represented than jews in professional positions? 45% more underrepresented than 2% how does that work?
why are we always employees instead of business owners or officers in companies or getting loans from banks instead of investors at a much better rate or for a better deal like 'part of the business'?
why dont we live within our means or develop strong communities to enforce moral discipline on our kids? by you i mean whites, blacks everybody in america... we all got lazy and spoiled on the quest for an automated life and a more instant - instant pudding.
i've learned a lot about things from working with jews for over a decade:
ways we could do it better, good things, clever things and things that most people never realize even go on.
in fact, the whole thing inspired me to go back to school and get a different degree and change my direction entirely -
fu** the corporate world, i went into science in an attempt to do something useful with my life. except now i'm learning that 2/3 of all physicists are jews lol...oh well, so much for my shot at a research position, maybe i'll go teach in missoula or something. either way i'll be happier than praying to the money god everyday. i still work as a a part time accountant but at least it's for the gov't now so there's a little honesty. (pretty sad when the govt is actually MORE honest than the private sector eh)

in the end, there have been more bad experiences than good unfortunately and i'm a little jaded.
my own personal philosophy says to judge everyone individually, but i think charon was right in his criticism that i might not be open to the good, even if it were there in the future.
i am like an old whooped dog that isnt going to trust very easily and if my fangs are bared it's because i have seen a raised hand before and know exactly what it means.
i have VERY unpopular views and dont expect to be liked. in fact i expect to be ostracized, hated and constantly ridiculed for my beliefs. i mean what should i expect roses? applause? lol you can hate me but i'm not stupid pal

i'm a big boy and i can take it. its your perogative and maybe from where you're sitting the world is a much different and better place. you gotta live in your head, not me anyway.
i encourage everyone to draw their own conclusions and if they dont match mine so what? i dont ever want to come to some conclusion because of social pressure or to fit in or because someone hates me- i base my views on my experiences whether it flatters a group or not. it's my attempt to be honest.
i'll keep my personal biases to myself, they have no place in a huge community like this and really, i'm not sure how we got on the friggin subject anyway. i guess the sep 11th thing and my ire over israel or something.
oh well - r.i.p. stupid battle threads - thank (insert diety here) they're gone. udie's a hell of a guy after all....
[ 11-07-2001: Message edited by: mrfish ]