Author Topic: Ok putting it up for a vote (Read 1519 times)

rpm · « **Reply #30 on:** August 17, 2006, 12:56:37 AM »

Sounds a lot like my tomcat, Buddy. I rescued him as a newborn from a litter found in a horse trailer in the middle of winter. The owner was going to thow him in the river. I needed a cat to combat field mice that were starting to show up in the house, his siblings were on their own.

I named him Buddy as in Little Buddy, Skipper's nickname for Gilligan. I should have named him Kato as in Inspector Clueseau's houseboy that would attack him everytime he entered a room.

When he was 6 mos old Buddy jumped out from behind a bookshelf to attack me and I promptly stepped on him breaking his right leg. I gave him 1/2 of an asprin and took him to the vet. Vet informs me asprin is poison to felines and doesn't believe my story of the attack gone awry.

6 months, 1 set of cat testes and a $400 vet bill later, Buddy falls off the side of my bathtub and re breaks the same leg in the same spot. "My cat fell in the bathtub" is not exactly what the vet wants to hear... $600 vet bill.

It's been a year since the last operation and I'm able to pick up and hold Buddy for up to 10 seconds (as long as I'm carrying him to his food bowl) before he goes Tazmanian Devil and draws blood now. He howls and hisses at anyone (especially female) that comes to the house. He leaves sheets of hair on the carpet and upholstery. He uses my $900 leather massage recliner as a sharpening post when I'm away and I'm pretty sure that I'm on some SPCA repeat offender watchlist.

I'd rather have mice.

eagl · « **Reply #31 on:** August 17, 2006, 07:25:24 AM »

Our family cat was pretty smart... lazy-smart really. He never ran away from home, liked me enough to follow me to school, learned how to open up doors to come inside whenever he felt like it. Terrible fighter too, got his butt kicked by every neighborhood cat, skunk, or possum in the area.

Thing is, he had some sort of dominance thing going with my Dad. He somehow knew that my Dad was the dominant male, so he went out of his way to f**k with him. Everything my Dad owned got peed on. If my Dad changed the tire, the cat would pee on the hubcap. When my Dad started building an airplane, the cat peed on the aluminum (which normally cats won't do). Almost everything my Dad owned or did got peed on. My Dad tolerated the cat and even enjoyed his company whenever the cat wasn't peeing on his stuff, but the cat never did give up trying to settle who was in charge of things at home.

Still, he lived 15 years until he fell asleep under a car and got mooshed. Poor kitty.

eagl · « **Reply #32 on:** August 17, 2006, 07:38:46 AM »

Regarding disciplining cats...

ALL cat discipline must be done immediately, and the best method I found in 25 years of cat ownership is to show dominance through non-painful capture and hold.

Simply put, anytime the cat did something bad, like bite too hard or play with claws out, I'd clamp one hand over his face to shut his jaw, and grab all 4 of his feet with the other hand. Start with the front paws and when he brings up his hind feet, grab them one at a time too. Best done kneeling so if necessary, you can trap him between your knees or under a forearm.

Capture/hold for about 30 seconds, speak in a soothing tone something like "no bite kitty", then release. If the cat doesn't just bolt and run, pet him a little to show no hard feelings.

Seriously, I trained 6 cats to behave in this fashion and not one ever had any serious discipline problems. One had a bit of a short circuit in her brain so anytime I moved my hand away from her, she'd go into attack mode and go after my hand like it was prey. Knowing this is an instinctive behavior, I never held it against her. I just did the capture/hold thing and after a while, she generally figured out her mistake in mid-leap and would land on my hand/arm without using her claws or biting, and then run off.

Punishing cats too long after the fact just makes them worse. They get paranoid and more independent (anti-social) and that doesn't make them very good pets. Instead of punishment, just subdue them physically without hurting them and they'll figure out that you're the boss. After that, they'll suck up to you like you wouldn't believe.

Masherbrum · « **Reply #33 on:** August 17, 2006, 08:31:01 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by eagl
Capture/hold for about 30 seconds, speak in a soothing tone something like "no bite kitty", then release. If the cat doesn't just bolt and run, pet him a little to show no hard feelings.

"No bite Kitty"? If a cat drew blood on me, I'd Lee Van Cleef his arse.

eagl · « **Reply #34 on:** August 17, 2006, 08:58:04 AM »

It's just an animal. Demonstrate your superiority and benevolance, and it'll fall into line. Do you really think it has the exact combination of intelligence and suicidal stupidity to actually try to harm you?

Cats don't usually need as much attention as dogs but they do need to know 2 things. First, that they're part of the family. Second, that they're not in charge. Get that message across with firm kindness and most cats will fit into a family just fine. Demonstrate a lack of care or be inconsistent with them, and they'll go feral and then you have a real problem. Feral cats can sometimes be brought into the family but usually at best they'll accept a "mutually beneficial" relationship and won't tolerate a close relationship.

Want to be a cat's best friend? Feed consistently, play with string or a laser pointer if you're lazy, and pet whenever they're feeling cuddly. A spritzer bottle applied without malice usually takes care of scratching furniture and screen doors. If they bite, subdue and hold, then pet to show no hard feelings. A little teasing play is ok as long as you recognize when the cat is approaching it's limits and back off before the cat lashes out in frustration.

And realize that a healthy and well-adjusted cat will on occasion break the skin by accident when playing, because cats just naturally grow sharp pointy things and mistakes happen. Buy a tube of neosporin and apply as necessary, and get over it. That's what cats do and trying to train a cat to never bite or scratch is just going to result in a schitzo cat that is never friendly and can't be left alone with kids.

JB88 · « **Reply #35 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:07:08 AM »

^^^^^^^^
what he said.

SunKing · « **Reply #36 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:09:38 AM »

My family had a cat that would steal chicken right off the hot barbeque. Throwing him in the pool a couple times cured him real fast.

eagl · « **Reply #37 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:18:12 AM »

If the "feedback" is immediate, then sometimes the "toss" works. My cat used to like being indoors and we cured him of jumping onto counters by tossing him out the door. But it has to be immediate feedback or it just makes them neurotic.

Rolex · « **Reply #38 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:26:55 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by eagl
Regarding disciplining girlfriends...

ALL girlfriend discipline must be done immediately, and the best method I found in 25 years of girlfriend ownership is to show dominance through non-painful capture and hold.

Simply put, anytime the girl did something bad, like bite too hard or play with nails out, I'd clamp one hand over her face to shut her jaw, and grab both of her feet with the other hand. Start with the hands and when she brings up her feet, grab them one at a time too. Best done kneeling so if necessary, you can trap her between your knees or under a forearm.

Capture/hold for about 30 seconds, speak in a soothing tone something like "no bite sweetie", then release. If the girl doesn't just bolt and run, pet her a little to show no hard feelings.

Seriously, I trained 6 girlfriends to behave in this fashion and not one ever had any serious discipline problems. One had a bit of a short circuit in her brain so anytime I moved my hand away from her, she'd go into attack mode and go after my hand like it was prey. Knowing this is an instinctive behavior, I never held it against her. I just did the capture/hold thing and after a while, she generally figured out her mistake in mid-leap and would land on my hand/arm without using her nails or biting, and then run off.

Punishing girlfirends too long after the fact just makes them worse. They get paranoid and more independent (anti-social) and that doesn't make them very good partners. Instead of punishment, just subdue them physically without hurting them and they'll figure out that you're the boss. After that, they'll suck up to you like you wouldn't believe.

Fixed...

JB88 · « **Reply #39 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:28:30 AM »

heh.

nice rolex.

Rolex · « **Reply #40 on:** August 17, 2006, 09:31:53 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by eagl
It's just a girlfirend. Demonstrate your superiority and benevolance, and she'll fall into line. Do you really think it has the exact combination of intelligence and suicidal stupidity to actually try to harm you?

Girlfriends don't usually need as much attention as wives but they do need to know 2 things. First, that they're part of your harem. Second, that they're not in charge. Get that message across with firm kindness and most girlfriends will fit into a harem just fine. Demonstrate a lack of care or be inconsistent with them, and they'll go feral and then you have a real problem. Feral girlfriends can sometimes be brought into the harem but usually at best they'll accept a "mutually beneficial" relationship and won't tolerate a close relationship.

Want to be a girls best friend? Feed consistently, play with string or a laser pointer if you're lazy, and pet whenever they're feeling cuddly. A spritzer bottle applied without malice usually takes care of scratching furniture and screen doors. If they bite, subdue and hold, then pet to show no hard feelings. A little teasing play is ok as long as you recognize when the girl is approaching it's limits and back off before the girl lashes out in frustration.

And realize that a healthy and well-adjusted girl will on occasion break the skin by accident when playing, because girls just naturally grow sharp pointy things and mistakes happen. Buy a tube of neosporin and apply as necessary, and get over it. That's what girls do and trying to train a girl to never bite or scratch is just going to result in a schitzo girlfriend that is never friendly and can't be left alone with kids.

Fixed this too.

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #41 on:** August 17, 2006, 05:04:23 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Rolex
Regarding disciplining girlfriends...

ALL girlfriend discipline must be done immediately, and the best method I found in 25 years of girlfriend ownership is to show dominance through non-painful capture and hold.

Man I would love to respond to this but Skuzzy would have a nervous breakdown LOL as I would certainly be in violation of rule 7 at LEAST 6 times.

But as a quick reply we will start with the capture and hold. How painfull it would be would be directly related to how much she struggled.

I'll let your imaginations take over from there:D