Author Topic: Ultimate ultimatum (Read 1431 times)

cav58d · « **Reply #60 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:44:36 PM »

Neu...Your obviously a bright guy, to have made it into law school....

Do yourself a favor, and re-read all the post's you have put on here, and how you describe your wife....

Is this really the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with???? First it's your family....What's next? I dont know if your a religous guy, but if you are, is she going to tell you that you have to convert to scientology, or else! 10 Year's from now is she going to tell you that you have to move out of the United State's, or else!

Like I said, your obviously an intelligent guy...Take a glance back at how you described her in your posts (and I believe you told us the description was toned down!!!!!!!!!), and ask yourself the question...Is this the woman who I want to one day carry my children?

cav58d · « **Reply #61 on:** September 20, 2006, 11:47:46 PM »

O yea...I think you should post a picture too....

eagl · « **Reply #62 on:** September 21, 2006, 06:41:18 AM »

Marry the one you want to be with the rest of your life, not someone who you might be able to change into someone you want to be with for the rest of your life.

Ditto on the dog thing... A yapping lapdog in my house would go into the garbage disposal the second *she* isn't looking.

Sorry hon, I haven't seen the little rat-dog anywhere...

DREDIOCK · « **Reply #63 on:** September 21, 2006, 06:45:39 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Neubob
Telling mom to mind her business was step one. We're about a hundred steps past that now. Did the marriage counselor bit, which calmed things for a while, but only for a while. I would be more than willing to try again, if she were open to the idea. At this point, her mind is a closed vault, with all views utterly solidified. Regardless,I will see her this weekend, and will try to bring up the idea. Her usual retort of 'what's the point', will require some new and imaginative answers.

If shes at the "whats the point" stage

Sounds to me like she really doesnt want to get back together. She just doesnt have the balls to say so outright. Or doesnt want to say so outright for some reason.

so she is giving ultimatums that she knows you cannot agree to.

Another possibility is, and will no offence intended. that you have been completely wussified to her and she has lost all respect for you.
She plays this game because she knows she can and get away with it.

Either way the cure is the same

Try doing a reverse.
Tell her that if getting back together hinges on you seing your mother. then forget it. its over,done. and Walk away.

If she really wants to get back together. She will immediately drop this claim and come chasing after you.

I saw a relationship "expert" on TV put it perfectly. Women like and are attracted to strong men. And by strong I dont mean physically. But emotionally and mentally

"A strong man has the same effect on a woman. that a nice set of breasts have on a man"

If youve ever had a dog you know that if the dog runs away. You dont catch it by chasing it as it will only run farther away

Once the relationship is established.
Pet comes to master, Master doesnt chase pet

Now that doesnt mean you have to be rude or overly demanding or act lke a total A-hole.
Just strong

Prsonally though.
I still think shes a control freak

eagl · « **Reply #64 on:** September 21, 2006, 07:15:59 AM »

Not to sound too cynical, but I bet she's already got another dude.

No, I'm not trying to make a bad joke. I'm serious. You've been separated long enough, she isn't interested in making things work, and she gave you some stupid ultimatum designed to make it "your fault" the marriage didn't work. Sounds to me like she already has what she needs and just wants the divorce proceedings to be your fault.

Neubob · « **Reply #65 on:** September 21, 2006, 08:28:25 AM »

Maybe, eagl.

Although, for my own reasons, I seriously doubt it, I nevertheless don't allow anything out of the realm of possibility anymore... Not when it concerns women.

Rameusb5 · « **Reply #66 on:** September 21, 2006, 08:31:48 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by FUNKED1
http://www.nomarriage.com/

Holy god thank you for posting that!

Neubob · « **Reply #67 on:** September 21, 2006, 09:07:42 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Prsonally though.
I still think shes a control freak

Well, thus far, after every period of non-communication, she's been the one to break the silence. A couple days, and she's usually back, acting nice and sweet and warm and inviting. It's a pattern that I know, and have used, but one I'm getting tired of. Of course, those first couple days after the silence breaks are also the best, in all respects. Problem is that there're no plateaus here, just sudden ups and sudden downs. Whole lot of passion, but no calmness. After a while, you yearn for that calmness.

rabbidrabbit · « **Reply #68 on:** September 21, 2006, 09:47:06 AM »

Dred has a point. The more you let her control you the more she will. Its strange but I have heard what he is saying from dozens of personal experiences and stories.