Author Topic: should I? (Read 1316 times)

Saintaw · « **Reply #30 on:** September 26, 2006, 06:48:32 AM »

You need more advice from flight sim nerds...

WilldCrd · « **Reply #31 on:** September 26, 2006, 07:12:34 AM »

post pics!!!
honestly we cant really make a INFORMED decision and give sound advice without knowing ALL the ummmm variables....yeah thats the ticket....
Pic of her should have minimal clothing if possible BUT, not to little otherwise we gonna get the skuzzman in here who IS married and .....well anyway ya look at it, it wont be a good thing!!:O

seriously tho, all I can really tell ya is something my old grandpappy once told me regarding marriage: Marriage is a institution and love is blind.....so why would ya want to join a instituition for the blind?

Rameusb5 · « **Reply #32 on:** September 26, 2006, 07:41:34 AM »

Someone posted this link in another thread, and I thought I should post it here as well...

http://www.nomarriage.com

Granted, the site IS obviously biased against marriage. But to be frank, there's a LOT of truth in there.

If you read this site and can see your GF becoming one of the creatures described therein, you have your answer...

Neubob · « **Reply #33 on:** September 26, 2006, 08:00:58 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by north
How will she know that I love her then?
Dont you think that if you intend to be someone else in your relationship you better call it quit at the very begining?

I want to be myself when married. Or is it some kind of rules I have to follow?

Being yourself and being diplomatic are not mutually exclusive. You need to be yourself, but you need to be allowed to have your own thoughts occasionally. Be willing to compromise, but make sure she is also willing. Share your lives, but do not encroach upon each other. There will be times when you will need counsel from people who is not your wife, it is natural. Out of respect and trust, allow her to do the same. The goal, in the end, is to be together, not to turn imprison each other inside this fortress of marriage--ne dumayesh?

Rash · « **Reply #34 on:** September 26, 2006, 11:29:16 AM »

I'd run home and play dead. Works with bears too.

north · « **Reply #35 on:** September 26, 2006, 12:06:52 PM »

appreciate it fellas. I know what its like to be in relationship ( we've been together for almost 4 years). What I was asking is "will anything change after marriage? and if yes should I be doing that "

Neubob · « **Reply #36 on:** September 26, 2006, 12:23:31 PM »

Of the marriages that I've seen work, North, the changes are minimal. Generally, the people already live together, already share financial burdens, already know and, at least, tolerate each others' families. The issues of trust and respect never change. What're you left with?

She may or may not change her last name.
You may or may not open a joint account.
The federal government taxes you differently.

north · « **Reply #37 on:** September 26, 2006, 12:35:17 PM »

thanks Neubob. but I don't care about formal part...
I enjoy being with her... but is it safe to assume that it will be harder for her to leave after she signs the paperwork. will she trust me more? will she still be honest and reasonable?

midnight Target · « **Reply #38 on:** September 26, 2006, 12:37:24 PM »

My wife and I have been together for 14 years, married for 10 months. The only reason we made it legal was to protect her interests in our finances. There is no such thing as "common law" in California.

Westy · « **Reply #39 on:** September 26, 2006, 12:49:22 PM »

After 4 yrs if you're still contemplating marriage (for all the wrong reason imo) then it truly should be the last thing on your mind.

Out of curiousity who are you? I only ask cause all 9 of your posts are here in the AH online games "OT" forum. IMO one of the east likeliest places someone surfing the net would stubble upon in a search for relationship advice.

midnight Target · « **Reply #40 on:** September 26, 2006, 01:01:11 PM »

north?

mr.Black?

Anyone ever see them both at the same party?

north · « **Reply #41 on:** September 26, 2006, 01:10:48 PM »

Quote

Out of curiousity who are you? I only ask cause all 9 of your posts are here in the AH online games "OT" forum. IMO one of the east likeliest places someone surfing the net would stubble upon in a search for relationship advice.

Would you suggest for me to go to some crappy "yahoo romance" chat?
What kind of advice do you think I might get there...

J_A_B · « **Reply #42 on:** September 26, 2006, 01:13:31 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by north
I can't believe that small piece of paper changes so many things:confused:

Quote

Originally posted by DiabloTX
You bet your bellybutton it does.
Many people make a living exploiting that piece of paper.
$50k marriages and $1mil divorces.

When I got married, it changed nothing. Well, actually it made our taxes a little easier to fill out, but that's it.

I think a lot of the issues people have with marriage are actually consequences of marrying the wrong person. You had better be sure your spouse is the correct person for you, because undoing a mistake of this sort is typically neither easy nor painless. Some people just don't live well in a relationship.

Personally, I don't think you should marry or even date a woman who "doesn't trust men". That sounds like a problem just waiting to happen.

I know several guys who married women they didn't really like just because they didn't think they'd find anyone else. Every one of those guys is miserable. My wifey is my best friend.

J_A_B

Dace · « **Reply #43 on:** September 26, 2006, 01:17:40 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Enduro
if she's good in bed and lets you play AH, you done good.

Neubob · « **Reply #44 on:** September 26, 2006, 01:18:59 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by north
thanks Neubob. but I don't care about formal part...
I enjoy being with her... but is it safe to assume that it will be harder for her to leave after she signs the paperwork. will she trust me more? will she still be honest and reasonable?

Marriage does not change the person, nor should it. It should be, ultimately, an affirmation of everything that already exists. It is a contract that can be severed, albeit with more cost and procedure, and neither gaurantees nor lessons the chances of anything happening. Everything that a marriage is, or will be, is what is brought into it, before it is undertaken. It cannot force anything positive into a relationship, or into a personality. These things, unfortunately, I learned through error, mostly on my part.

Marriage is also something that you do for the benefit of family and tradition. That part may be hardest to reconcile, because it should a moment between the two of you, not a moment between the two of you and a couple hundred over-emotion onlookers.

In short, North, or whoever you are, do not look for marriage to make the changes that you want. It is nothing without everything that came before it. If you want change, or think it may help, look for somebody else to share your life with.