I think that one major thing that has changed is that Korea now sees the US as a superpower without a much needed super-advesary to check and balance its ambitions. Back in the good old days of duck and cover, the US and Russia were so afraid of one another that they went to war in secondary arenas, and did so without ever confronting each other directly. Yeah, the Chinese had some Soviet Mig pilots. The Vietnamese had their advisors, not to mention equipment, but the big show never came to fruition, and thankfully so...
Now that the super adversary is effectively gone, the ambitions of this empire of ours are unchecked. The result? A deposed Saddam... An America whose nationalistic fever is rising by the day... An egocentric superpower, still armed to the teeth, that now has no ideological foe as it did with the Soviets. Yes, the Muslims are starting to fill that role, but their religion, technical backwardness and fanatical practices make them more of a frightening joke than the nuclear-tipped evil empire that was the USSR. I'm sure they'll get less funny and more frightening soon enough, but, for now, I think the sentiment is that if push comes to shove, we'll bury them. There was never such a chance with the Soviets. It was either we live together, or we die together. And it could all happen in less than an hour, totally and completely.
Kim saw what happened to Saddam. He knows that the US's hunger for this sort of prey may not have been quenched in Iraq. He's been building up his forces, his readiness, doing all he could, despite the poverty, to have that one ace--a weapon against which nobody, not even a superpower, will wager. And, as you said, his pride, the Koreans' collective pride, will not allow this thing to continue. Respect, stature, and, perhaps most importantly, an image before his people are all things that are worth fighting for. Perhaps he's also sick and tired of these bloated, ignorant, gun-weilding cowboys hopping around the globe with no care for international boaders, UN resolutions, or public opinion. He may want to be the one to make the American Empire finally blink. It would a legacy to be proud of, and I bet he doesn't have a stable of 1000 luxury cars to taint the image of a leader of men--like Saddam did through his idiot older son. You ask about communication? I think that the actions of the US of the past several years speak more than any direct dialog between leaders ever will. Actions, not words, and there have been plenty of the former.
Is he wrong in all this? No. It's not hard to imagine exactly what place in people's hearts is occupied by modern America. Hell, I've grimaced before at some of the very audible commentary erupting from the mouths of my countrymen in international airports abroad. 'God, this country sucks!!'--London Heathrow, out of a 13 year old brat a couple years back. That's a spitball in the face. I cannot imagine what a soveriegn leader must feel getting told what and how from a nation on the other side of the globe.
Is he wrong in the way he handles his country? You know, I've lived in the US since age 4, and now, a quarter century later, I'm willing to say that it's just not our whoopeeed business. I still believe that every nation, be it the US or Lebanon or Korea, every nation deserves the leadership they have. If they don't like it, it's their duty to change it. Not ours. Will this risk another holocaust? Perhaps. If we continue on our current course, however, I'm afraid that we're gauranteeing another holocaust--our own. What do we do with Kim, now? I have no answers. What I would like to see, however, is some other powerful nation take the lead in this initiative, and the US take an unheard of backseat.
Maybe Kim doesn't want a war, per se. I do believe that he will fight one, though. There's a great chance that he's got the one thing that the US hasn't had in decades--resolve. Resolve to fight the enemy to the death, not to some state of GOP-defined enlightenment or Americanization. I think that Kim is ready to leave his enemy in smoking ruins. We are not. That lack of resolve is our greatest weakness. The credit for exposing that weakness goes to the planners and executors of 9/11.
It's a lesson that neither Kim, nor anyone like him will soon forget.
Sorry for the long, diggressive response, but it seems that these issues all gradually blend into one indistinguishable cluster****.