WW,
I must confess, I read your blog and came across this little gem and had to share it with everyone.
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I pointed out that while the biggest **** did, indeed, go down first, it was always the smallest **** that splashes your ass. This invoked all kinds of corollaries and analogies involving DMV clerks up through attorneys.
One doubter inquired how I could prove my assertion.
“It’s quite simple, actually. Big turds, by the nature of their size are much closer to the water than marble-sized poopettes. Thus, they enter the water without much fanfare. On the other hand, the poopettes must fall eight to ten inches to reach the water. Inasmuch as it is gravity at work here, the longer an object free-falls, the greater the velocity imparted into it. Therefore, the small **** will strike the water at a much higher speed, causing a splash and resulting damp anus."