Thanks for the replies, good input.
Here is what I think.
1. I never send a first salute to a goon if I shoot it down. Defenseless player in unmatched airplane, strikes me as neener neener, u wasted all that time i got you.
If guy does good job flying it, i might say on open channel, 'great goon flying', but not say his name so it is just between he and I, no need to tell everyone who was shot down.
rarely will I return a salute when in a goon and get shot down, although I did last night to a player who I thought was one of the more experienced guys (a squad leader of a very well known squad, the basis for this post)
2. If I shoot down a guy I never(rarely) send the first salute, though I might on open channel say 'great flying' or something, again with no name. Although it kills me when I get schooled, I'll salute back in almost all cases a first salute.
3.. who cares anyway, just a game. I should be working not writing on this post.
Just to let you know, I have broken every rule above before over the course of my time in AH. I've saluted goons I shot down, not returned salutes after good fights, did it to say 'neener neener', cherry picked you, shot you down in a 10vs1 fight....so on and so on.
That was long before though, before I started flying with Lynx. I don't do that anymore, was bad form on my part.