meth

[JB88]

i need to ask you for your help.

i have a cousin that i love very much who i am sad to say has become a longterm meth addict.  

i need to find a way to help her help herself.

all that i can give to her is my love and my affection and my mind and my faith and my energy and the belief that she deserves to be loved and believed in no matter what.

what i am wondering...do any of you have any thoughts, experiences, ideas resources or directions that might help in helping her to achieve this goal?

can she be saved?  have others come back from this hell?  is it at least possible?

it's been years since i have seen her, but it is breaking my families heart to know that she is out there dying slowly like this when our memories of her are so filled with her light.

she lives in the dallas area.

anything you can think of will be so very appreciated... i promise that i will try to keep an open mind.

please and thank you.

88

[storch]

does she date married men?

[BBBB]

Sorry to hear that dude. My brother has been a meth addict for about a year now. He has pissed away a great job. Been arested more times then I care to count and doesnt seem to care that he is killing himself.
 I can't figure it out. We came from a well off family. Our parents always showed us love and support. I can't figure out he is doing the things he is doing. I am not sure if he knows. In the end the only advice I can give you. This being from my own hard earned lessons. Change all of you locks. Lock up everything at your house. Be ready for phone calls at 3am from someone bawling on the other end asking you to get them out of jail.
 You have to learn to have a hard heart. To say no when they come buy asking for a few dollars to get some food. This was something my brother did at first. I quickly learned that 10 dollars here and 20 dollars there was going to meth and not food. So when he comes by asking for money for food, I show him to the kitchen. It is tough. But God willing they will figure out what they are doing and stop it. They decide when they want to quit. You can't make her.
Meth is a bad, bad drug. Simple to make, simple to buy, simple to use. Anyone can get on the stuff. My girlfriend is a HS english teacher. They just fired a history teacher for using the stuff. Drugs are not an inner city problem anymore.
If you have any questions bro you are welcome to e-mail me. PM me and I will give you my e-mail and cell number. I can bring you up to speed on the things I have learned this past year.

-Sp0t

[cav58d]

88 -  In short, to answe your question whether she can be saved or not?  Yes she can.  Everyday can be a start to a new life.  HOWEVER.  That can only happen if she is 100% committed and willing to stop.  It doesnt matter if all her family and friends support her and are willing to help.  SHE HAS TO BE 100%.  Anything less, even 99.9% and I promise you she will slip.

My family is currently going through the same situation, accept the drug being used is heroine.

My cousin, a graduate of St. Joes (philly) with a bachelorette and masters degree in economics, a person you would never expect to become a drug addict, has destroyed his life using heroine.

In the two years he has been using he has stolen nearly 80 thousand dollars from my families business, 10k individual family members, has depleted his entire life savings, maxed out 5 credit cards, totaled his car, been arrested twice, and has nearly lost his entire social circle.

His parents knew this was going on from the start, and tried helping him privately, but it wasn't until my entire family found out, that I really think he has any chance of winning from this disease and addiction.

The approach we are taking is mix of hard/soft love.

My cousin has been asked to leave his home, and is now living with my grandparents, under 24/7 supervision.  He no longer has a vehicle, or a cell phone.  Furthermore, he is not allowed to leave my grandparents house without being attended by one of my family members.  It sucks, we have a 25 year old man, and have to treat him like a 5 year old...But its the only way right now.

Since this has happened, my family has told him that he is not able to physically return to work until he defeats this habit, however, instead of sitting idle at my grandparents 24/7 watching TV, what we do is bring work to him.  Whatever can be done outside of our florist, is brought to him so he has something to do.  The worst thing that can happen would be for him to sit around with an idle mind while trying to beat this.  We have to give him this work, so he feels he has intent and purpose.  I can't beging to stress how important that is to make the loved one you are trying to help feel he has something going for him/her while they are quitting.  

In addition, we try and give him all the praise we can.  On a day to day basis, keep telling him how good he is doing.  How his appearance, and personality are improving so much, and how he is returning to himself.  We are also always trying to have someone with him when he is not working in the house to just hang out.  Watch a movie.  Read a book.  Talk.  Cook.  Anything.

He is also seeing a psychiatrist.  It's extremely important for the individual to understand why he is doing the drugs.  Furthermore (and I cant think of the name off hand), he has been prescribed an anti-opiate drug which he is taking, so even if he does slip, theorotecally (sp), the heroine will have no effect if he takes it...

Listen, my typing and story telling sucks via internet, nor do I feel extremely comfortable writing this all over the itnernet.  However, if you'd like, i'd be happy to give you my telephone # so I can give you the full story, and tell you exactly how we are dealing with this.  I think it can help

Let me know if you want to do that

cav-

[cav58d]

BBBB is 100% right, and IMO this is the hardest thing for family members to accept when dealing with an individual with a extreme drug problem.  YOU CANNOT TRUST THEM during the first stages of quitting.  You have to realize that your not dealing with a a person who thinks like you and I.  It can be anything from money, to tv's and jewlery.  To the individual with the drug problem, these items are nothing more than things he/she can use pawn, trade off, or buy drugs with.

HOWEVER, eventually during the process, small amounts of trust have to be allowed to be gained back in incremental doces, but this doesn't happen until the drug abuser really starts showing signs of improvement.

[Sixpence]

If, hopefully, you get her to agree to rehab, check the place out first. A friend a I grew up with, his brother, has a problem. They got him to rehab only to find out he was getting his drugs there.

You're a good man to care and want to help, good luck

[cav58d]

It sucks to say this, but tell your family not to waste their money on re-hab unless like I said earlier, she is 100% committed.  If she isnt' personally ready/willing to give up the drugs, no point in your family spending 10's of thousands of dollars so she can double her dealer contacts and partners to use with.

[rpm]

Originally posted by cav58d
It sucks to say this, but tell your family not to waste their money on re-hab unless like I said earlier, she is 100% committed.  If she isnt' personally ready/willing to give up the drugs, no point in your family spending 10's of thousands of dollars so she can double her dealer contacts and partners to use with.

Nail on the head. You can't MAKE an addict quit, they have to seriously want to.

[Xasthur]

The trouble with meth is that it has something like a 90% addiction rate. As far as I understand it, very, very few people can successfully give this drug up.

It can be done, but you have your work cut out for you.

Try to remove her from her social setting. Get her away from her suppliers, her drug using friends and everything that makes it easier for her to score.

Of course, she'll have to be willing.... but this will be a good measure.

[culero]

88, I've been where you are more than once with family and close friends. I've been aware of many situations like this amongst acquaintances. I can tell you from long experience that the advice the others have given here is spot on.

Except storch, the bastard

The key thing is that until the addict decides to commit fully, truly wants to quit, they won't. Until then, all you can do for your loved one is be there for her, be a good influence, realizing all along she is likely to steal from you and lie to you about her addiction. You must resist the urge to be an enabler, must be willing to harden your heart and deny her resources that can be converted to cash.

If you can reason with her at all about this, and she offers to commit, the one biggest thing you could do to help is isolate her from her sources and help her find something constructive to do that doesn't expose her to much social contact. She needs positive influences and more importantly a lack of negative ones. In the long run she will probably need formal help, but the kind that's free (12 step programs, PDAP, church resources, etc) is usually just as effective as anything else once the person is ready. Until they are, any of it is a waste.

You should also realize that the odds are against success, you are betting a long shot if you get involved. I tried and failed in the exact situation you are in (cousin I loved and grew up with, who lived far away, and to whom I represented the last family member willing to help because he'd burned all other bridges) but if you love her, you have to try. Just know that in the end, you can do everything right but success depends totally on her. The only good thing I can say is that its better to have tried and failed than to live with  the knowledge you didn't try.

I wish I could be more positive, good luck.

PS - storch, WTF were you thinking? She could be fat!

[WMLute]

Originally posted by culero
PS - storch, WTF were you thinking? She could be fat!

A meth addict?




(g/l with your cousin.  this is never easy.  sometimes you have to let 'em go to get them back)

[storch]

Originally posted by culero
Except storch, the bastard



PS - storch, WTF were you thinking? She could be fat!

I've never met a fat meth addict.  the toothless thing can come in handy from time to time.

I have no sympathy for addicts of any kind, well ok I have some for AH addicts but that's it.

an addict has to hit rock bottom and either die or make his/her way back.

[Bronk]

Originally posted by storch


an addict has to hit rock bottom and either die or make his/her way back.

Here is the sad truth to it all.  


They will not change unless they hit the absolute bottom.
For some reason showing any sympathy to them translates into approval.



Bronk

[lazs2]

When I quit 16 years ago I was doing 3 grams or more a day.   I knew and still know of a whole lot of crank addicts.

The recovery rate is about the same as for heroin and full blown alkies... around 5%.   Women are less likely to recover it seemed to me.

They all steal and will make your life miserable.   They will rob your home and tell other criminals what you own.   You really need to cut them loose and explain why.  any sympathy will be seen as a sign of weakness.   They will use it to get more crank at your expense.

lazs

[Eagler]

post of picture of her before her meth addiction right next to the mirror in the her bathroom so she can compare everytime she takes a leak .. g/l with your mission, its a tough one