My question...who the hell gives their wife a pig for their birthday?!?! 
 
 Yokel: Hey honey I got a surprise for you...guess what these keys are to! 

Yokel Wife: OMG, you got me a brand new Grand Marquis didnt you! YIPPEE! 

Yokel: No 
Yokel Wife: A PT Cruiser?
Yokel: No 

Yokel Wife: Well what are the keys for?! 

Yokel:  Keys to a pig pen....I got you a pig...wanna see?!  
Yokel Wife:  

  I'll be at my mothers!  
 
 