2007 will be saved by... Canadian scientists who will discover a way to easily convert tap water into American beer (not too hard, there are few chemical differences, making it the easier problem to solve).
The ability to have "Beer Faucets" in every house with the installation of a small device at the local treatment plants will result in a drop in domestic violence and infidelity (men will both find their wives more attractive and have no reason to go out to bars), fix our middle east problems when the various wheat, rice, and hops harvesters are pushed into diverting their wares to be turned into biofuel that replaces all imported oil, and valuable shelf space in the local grocery stores that once held Miller and Coors will be available for use by the various hippy-juice companies, making agitators and protesters around the country suddenly feel accepted.
Our president will "loosen up" and withdraw troops, and the various terrorist supporting economies will collapse in on themselves by the sudden loss in demand for their product and will beg for us to deploy back so we can continue to support their local stores. We will decline, and the Middle East will reformat itself as a nice tourist destination.
Dogs and cats will, in the spirit of cooperation, sign a peace accord, the sun will come out just a little more often, and the streets will be filled with the sounds of laughing children playing stick ball and hopscotch while evading weaving cars piloted by buzzed drivers coming home from a relaxing day of well hydrated Air Traffic Control.
