My complaint about The Putz Hitech

[Heater]

Reading this letter won't be the easiest thing you've ever done but it may be one of the most rewarding. Let me preface my discussion by quickly reasserting a familiar theme of my previous letters: This makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of The Putz Hitech's unsophisticated convictions. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) Imagine people everywhere embracing The Putz Hitech's claim that he is a martyr for freedom and a victim of cannibalism. The idea defies the imagination. After reading everything I could find on this subject, I was forced to conclude that The Putz Hitech is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, The Putz Hitech throws principle to the wind. He has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of his successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. The Putz Hitech says that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing communism. You know, he can lie as much as he wants but he can't change the facts. If he could, he'd unmistakably prevent anyone from hearing that it has long been obvious to attentive observers that his ravings have reached a depth of degeneracy that was virtually unknown in the past. But did you know that The Putz Hitech's trucklers are cut from the same mold as what I call arrogant, manipulative sociopaths? The Putz Hitech doesn't want you to know that because I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner.

We ought to examine the warp and woof of The Putz Hitech's pronouncements. That'll make The Putz Hitech think once -- I would have said "twice" but I don't see any indication that he has previously given any thought to the matter -- before trying to stand in the way of progress. He has recently been going around claiming that he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. Let's be frank: If you are not smart enough to realize this, then you become the victim of your own ignorance. Despite some perceptions to the contrary, if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which The Putz Hitech may conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "superultrafrostified", then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that The Putz Hitech has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and cheat on taxes -- all by trumping up a phony emergency.

Con us into believing that no one is smart enough to see through The Putz Hitech's transparent lies if you like, The Putz Hitech, because I simply don't care. Admittedly, he was warned by his own chums not to push all of us to the brink of insanity. But that's because I firmly believe that his collaborators have an almost identical mentality, as if they all had been cloned from a single gnosticism-oriented prototype. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that The Putz Hitech is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because his previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that The Putz Hitech's new changes will be even more mephitic, because he has no fixed ethical principles. So let him call me unstable. I call him vengeful. All The Putz Hitech really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. While it is essential -- and among my highest priorities -- to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment, if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to restore the world back to its original balance.

Sure, some of The Putz Hitech's sermons are valid, but that's not the point. The Putz Hitech takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. How can we trust an oppressive imperious-type who actively conceals his true intentions? We can't. And besides, he maintains that either the few of us who complain regularly about his nostrums are simply spoiling the party or that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. The Putz Hitech denies any other possibility. What I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that if you don't think that he can't relate what he sees to any broader principle, then you've missed the whole point of this letter.

Sure, we could just sit back and let The Putz Hitech suppress controversy and debate, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense. One of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that I'm sure he wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on his secret conversations. So why does The Putz Hitech want to blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his clumsy circulars? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that we must work together to discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and The Putz Hitech doing some jaundiced thing every few weeks. I don't normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but The Putz Hitech unequivocally deserves it. He is not just flighty; he's unsavory, too. His opinion is that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that if The Putz Hitech were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that I want to see all of us working together to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to delegitimize him. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that we could opt to sit back and let The Putz Hitech exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. Now that you've heard what I've had to say, I want you to think about it. And I want you to join me and get people to sign a petition to limit The Putz Hitech's ability to cause trouble.




PS Sorry if you read all of this: then go Here

[Gristle]

wow, that is an amazing machine, who took the time to make that.


that is ridiculous.

alright im up at 3 in the morning reading forums... i think ill stop talking.

[Nilsen]

[VWE]

Incredible!

[Jackal1]

Sounds like one of our discussions around these parts after the second case is gotten into on Saturday night.

[storch]

and people think legalized drug use is a good thing.

[DiabloTX]

HAHA, that's frikkin' hilarious!  I have that website saved in my favorites now.

[Nilsen]

I just made one and im e-mailing it to our PMs office

I've been hesitating to write this letter, because I've been afraid that, if I did, Mr. Jens Stoltenberg would do everything in his power to make me choke to death. But after reading about Stoltenberg's unambitious solutions, I could hesitate no longer. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that Stoltenberg can't possibly believe that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. He's odious, but he's not that odious. He is clearly up to something. I don't know exactly what, but if Stoltenberg has spurred us to provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it, then Stoltenberg may have accomplished a useful thing. His tricks should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Stoltenberg's fulminations are intended to create a world sunk in the most abject superstition, fanaticism, and ignorance." We must do away with the misconception that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. At the risk of sounding a tad redundant, let me add that for those of us who make our living trying to bring the communion of knowledge to all of us, it is important to consider that he says that he holds a universal license that allows him to use paid informants and provocateurs to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Stoltenberg has been trying to convince us that everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. This pathetic attempt to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought deserves no comment other than to say that one of the great mysteries of modern life is, Will the world ever be free of gin-swilling yokels like Stoltenberg? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question, but consider this: It seems clear that the Orwellian implications of Stoltenberg's comments are perfectly clear. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Stoltenberg has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. Then again, just because Stoltenberg is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids.

Like a lion after tasting the blood of human victims, Stoltenberg will mobilize support for the special interests that dominate state and private activity. To be honest, in a recent essay, he stated that the ideas of "freedom" and "priggism" are Siamese twins. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but if I said that what I call illiberal, snooty busybodies are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being absolutely honest if I said that one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that Stoltenberg never stops boasting about his generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, his claimed magnanimousness is thoroughly chimerical and, furthermore, Stoltenberg craves more power. I say we should give him more power -- preferably, 10,000 volts of it.

Just because I understand Stoltenberg's excuses doesn't mean I agree with them. What is happening between Stoltenberg's foot soldiers and us is not a debate. It is not a friendly disagreement between enlightened people. It is a wanton, possession-obsessed attack on our most cherished institutions. Stoltenberg's factotums claim that everyone and everything discriminates against Stoltenberg -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls. This is precisely the non-equation that Stoltenberg is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we convince featherbrained cadgers to stop supporting Stoltenberg and tolerating his monographs, or is it sufficient to advocate social change through dialogue, passive resistance, and nonviolence? The answer is almost totally obvious -- this isn't rocket science, you know. The key is that most people don't realize that Stoltenberg has already revealed his plans to turn suborners of perjury loose against us good citizens. He revealed these plans in a manifesto bearing all of the hallmarks of having been written by a wicked, huffy dissembler. Not only is his manifesto entirely lacking in logic, relentlessly subjective, and entirely anecdotal, but every time Stoltenberg utters or writes a statement that supports snobbism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that Stoltenberg is as innocent as a newborn lamb. I believe we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because none of what he says carries any weight, but primarily because he appears to have found a new tool to use to help him capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities. That tool is gangsterism, and if you watch him wield it, you'll certainly see why many people who follow his cop-outs have come to the erroneous conclusion that his agendas are Right with a capital R. The truth of the matter is that Stoltenberg asserts that the best way to serve one's country is to cause this country to flounder on the shoals of self-interest, corruption, and chaos. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. Stoltenberg is too yellow-bellied to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that if he truly believes that going through the motions of working is the same as working, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. In short, I feel we must solve the problems of resistentialism, vigilantism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity. I hope other members of the community feel the same.

[Airscrew]

In this letter, I would like to share with you some thoughts I originally organized to reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. In the first place, Hitech Creations truly believes that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. It is just such voluble, perfidious megalomania, two-faced egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Hitech Creations to woo over irascible flakes by using tactics such as scapegoating, reductionist and simplistic solutions, demagoguery, and a conspiracy theory of history. In these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, when it comes to Hitech Creations's remonstrations, I think that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by it and its disciples. The sooner we do that, the better, because Hitech Creations's perceptions are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? If I'm not mistaken, there's a painfully simple answer. It regards the way that I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Hitech Creations's part to tap into the national resurgence of overt expansionism in a lustrum or two. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that I really gainsay Hitech Creations's notion that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Bettering the world is apparently the last item on Hitech Creations's "to do" list. What are the lessons for us in this? First, it's that it has no moral qualities whatsoever. And second, if it thinks that it can make me crawl under a rock and die, then it's barking up the wrong tree.

Pardon me for not being able to empathize with spiteful practitioners of fanaticism, but it doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Hitech Creations's expostulations in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must put an end to Hitech Creations's evildoing. Hitech Creations is not only prodigal, but it also lacks the self-control necessary to conform its behavior to reasonable norms. In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the assertions of what I call ghastly nabobs of escapism, but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant pranks. There is no place in this country where we are safe from Hitech Creations's proxies, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. Hitech Creations should hide its head in shame before the judgment of future generations, whose tongue it will no longer be possible to stop and which, therefore, will say what today all of us know to be true: Hitech Creations says that everyone would be a lot safer if it were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions -- even our library records. Why on Earth does Hitech Creations need to monitor our library records? As you no doubt realize, that's a particulary timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago, I heard someone express the opinion that if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that people often get the impression that polyloquent, spleeny wackos and Hitech Creations's compeers are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that Hitech Creations thumbs its nose at some of the very things I treasure. More than that, many people think of Hitech Creations's recidivism-oriented screeds as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they're deadly serious. They're the tool by which fastidious, overbearing stirrers will perpetrate acts of the most lethargic character in the near future. A second all-too-serious item is that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Hitech Creations's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "How possession-obsessed can Hitech Creations be?" I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that I am tired of hearing or reading that Hitech Creations has the mandate of Heaven to give me reason to swallow its cajoleries whole, without question or quibble. You know that that is simply not true. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because the odds are more than ten to one that I disagree both with Hitech Creations's point and with the way it makes it.

[Airscrew]

I think I know where Huffington Post gets all their editorials.....

[68ROX]

Not all that INtelligent.

68ROX

[Maverick]

Mildly INteresting.

[JB88]

this isn't an "in" thread.

heater calls hitech a putz from time to time.  it is a part of the order and balance of the universe.

though it might be an "in" thread if one of you putzes did it.

[Furball]

i got hooked by a Heater "putz" thread once, never again

Great webpage!

[68ZooM]

ROFLMAO... i say we use this to write our Senators