Originally posted by Silat
Its not a church.
Its a CULT CENTER.
The sign is different in various parts of the country.
On the West Coast, you are of course correct. If there are any buildings left out there that even sllightly resemble churches, they have likely been bought out either by a New Age
CULT group, or by an organization dedicated to deprogramming previous cult members. Any rumors of kickback referral agreements between these two groups, to refer "clients" back and forth in a neverending loop, are hotly denied by those involved. The steeples on these buildings are apparently lined with alumninum foil to thwart alien mind reading devices during comet fly bys, and to prevent inadvertantly channeling any of Shirley MacLean's telepathic transmissions.
In the old New England states, towns near air bases have many picturesque congregational church buildings, some dating back to the 1700s. Unfortunately, since those states are now populated by left leaning intellectuals, the buildings are either used as Universalist Unitarian gathering centers ("Come next week for pet dedication service, with interpretive dance..."), or they've been converted to community auditoriums....the
"CULT-ural Centers" where amateur theaters can continue to perform the (little known) plays of Karl Marx.
In the Midwest, those buildings actually are churches, and they actually attract locals to attend actual services. (Those on the coasts insist the "services" are flimsy cover for republican mind control activities, but definitve evidence has not yet surfaced...since no coastal person has the courage to journey that far into the Dark Continent.) Midwestern churches are attractive targets during captures, both because they are often filled with townspeople, and because the very high proportion of polyester clothing makes the targets highly flammable.
In the South, there are some differences as well. The churches are often as heavily used as in the midwest, but they are much more dangerous to attack. Instead of nonaggressive midwestern farmers in their finest leisure suits, southern churchgoers are reputed to sometimes attend in camoflage, and to head into the woods to "hunt varmints" between Sunday morning and evening services. It's well known that parking areas are heavily defended by pickups with gun racks, and those vehicles that lack racks are often packed with high explosive devices known as "kegs." Even ground attacks are risky in southern towns -- thanks to both heavily armed "Bubba network community patrols", and due to the risk of sharing the road with well-pickled locals.
