The Hair of the Dog Soup.
Stumble into the kitchen, realizing hunger pain, headache, eye aches and hearing pain.
Place dog outside, barking causes pain. Stumble back into kitchen and drink 3 glasses of cold water. Retreat rapidly to bathroom.
Wipe mouth, chin, neck and floor. Spash cold water on face and avoid looking into the mirror. Return to kitchen.
Make plans on cooking soup. Soup can sometimes be easy to prepare.
Reach under cabinets to retrive a good sized pot carefully. Bangings pots slightly together causes pain. Gently place on stove.
Follow the walls to the pantry. Step on cat and politely warn cat that screeching can only awaken the Dragon. Place cat outside with dog.
Remove a Red and White can from the pantry with the word "Tomato" that has Camb Bells on the label and return to kitchen. read directions... cover right eye to read directions.... try covering left eye to read directions..... screw directions. Do not use the 'lectic can opener, sound causes pain. Find the manual can opener thingy in the drawer with all the other thingys in it... be very quiet in searching... remember the Dragon?
Struggle 30 minutes to get can opened. Try and remove contents into pot... use anything in reach to remove contents.. *Pot Mitts are not recommended*.
Remove cold beer from fridge, add 1/2 can to pot and sip other half. Add 4 shots of Vodka, a stalk of celery and a small can of V8 juice. Place stove burner on low. wait 20 minutes.... watch pot. After 30 minutes place pot on the red burner. Wait 20 minutes.
Once contents in the pot have congealed remove pot from stove... using the handle. Avoid using the messing Pot Mitts. Slowly glump it into a bigger bowl making sure the brown celery is included. Turn off all burners on the stove to prevent the Fire Department from showing up...... again.
Take bowl and fork to LazyBoy chair to enjoy and watch cartoons. After burning lips with fork return to kitchen to find the 1/2 beer and a spoon.
Stare at TV. Damm we have two TV's that don't work?
Have kids turn on TV's.
Enjoy Japanesse Cartoons, soup and await the Wrath of the Dragon.
Mac