> > *Dear Wife:
> > *
> > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> > I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
> > for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
> > Tell me had you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
> > Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
> > haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
> > silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> > watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
> > don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
> > Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
> > the case, I'm gone.
> >
> > *Your EX-Husband
> > *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
> > Virginia together! Have a great life!
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > *Dear Ex-Husband,*
> >
> > Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
> > that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is
> > a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
> > drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
> > I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> > came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me
> > not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
> > And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> > with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> > About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
> > $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
> > coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
> > morning. In spite of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
>it out.
> > So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> > bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
> > Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the
> > fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you
> > wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me, so take care.
> >
> > *Signed,
> > Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
> > *P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> > Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
