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Author Topic: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.  (Read 722 times)

Offline AWMac

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« on: August 05, 2007, 06:26:07 AM »
My outside cat had babies.  We feed them eveyday. Kaisson will soon die, he's got Kitty AIDS.  It's sad to see him like this.

He's a Orange striped Tiger looking cat.. and has a Orange Girlfriend, the Mom of the kittens.  He has 3 kittens, yet only one looks like him exactly.

Sooo cute.

Here is where I messed up.  I feed the cats/kittens. I wanted to pet Kiassons lil kitten... his Son... we named him "Sparky".  They are shy of people and run off.  I came out the door quietly yesterday and had a chance of grabbing Sparky.

Ya know when you really screw up crap happens in slow motion....I grabbed the kitten.

Whatever I thought of cute and fuzzy became a hissin/spittin dam fur of razor blades and teeth.... I couldn't get this dammm thing off my frikken hand fast enough... It wouldn't let go... a kitten pocessed... Jebus I'm screaming, the kitten from Hell is feeding on my dam hand.... I'm swinging the hand and screaming running around the yard and the neighbors come out.

You'd think they'd grab a water hose, bat or a dammm shotgun... But Nooooo.... They're enjoying this crap... I attempt to peel this Evil Spawn of Satan off my hand and it is now on my other dam hand... chit, I'm wailing, the kitten is sreecking.. I'm doing the frikken Waatusie drippin blood and now trying to shake this lil kitten off me.  Laffter in the background.

Here comes the Mother cat.... Dammm I'm screwed now.  As if I'm hurtin the kitten   PaHLeeez.... she promptly attacks my left shin... gnawing, kicking, clawing...did I mention gnawing?

Frikken neighbours are rollin in laffter and tears... bastages.  I'm doing a dam shuffle from yard to yard with a kitten feeding on my hands and a pissed off Mother Cat gnawing on my left leg...

I finally dropped and rolled... watermelon it works for fires... Mom Cat and kitten ran off... I was laid out in the driveway with all the dam neighbours rollin on the ground laffin their tulips off.

I retreat to the house...bleeding like a stuck pig... wifey asks me WTF? and I point towards the door... she comes back in 20 minutes later laffin her asre off, can't look at me in the eyes and gets out the Poroxide, Neosporin and bandaids... Laffin her bellybutton off the whole time.

Dam this was a bad Day.

Mac
« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 07:05:59 AM by AWMac »
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Offline DieAz

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2007, 06:36:30 AM »
one way or another you gonna learn not to mess with Kitty Power.


LMAO thanks for the laugh  :rofl :rofl
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Offline AWMac

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2007, 06:37:24 AM »
Dam wifey still walking by me laffin.... or hisses and makes cat sounds.

Crap

Mac
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Offline McFarland

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2007, 06:39:43 AM »
And they said I was lying when I said cats could really mess you up. "Now you know the rest of the story." - Paul Harvey
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Offline AWMac

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2007, 06:57:46 AM »
I got 14 bandaids on the right hand, 8 on the left hand and 7 on the left shin.... I hurt.

Wifey still thinks its funny as Hell...

Haven't seen my neighbours yet...maybe won't for a time. Dam Bastages.


Mac
« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 07:01:51 AM by AWMac »
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Offline McFarland

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2007, 07:12:43 AM »
They probably took one look at you and said, "I don't want none of that!" And then started laughing at you.
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Offline AWMac

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2007, 07:17:37 AM »
Wifey just asked me if I wanted scrambled eggs with Catsup....she can't look me in the eyes without laffin...

She said she'd feed me because of all the Band~Aids.... Laffin.

Well chit...

I had good intentions.

Kittens are Evil!!!

Mac
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Offline Maverick

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2007, 10:30:36 AM »
:rofl :rofl :rofl

Not quite up to the original Hairball story from years back but not bad at all.

Oh and Mac, ROWR!!!!


:rofl :rofl
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Offline Meatwad

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2007, 10:39:02 AM »
:rofl :rofl


Do you still enjoy the cats company, or are you now considering a new game to see how far you can punt one of em?
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Offline DYNAMITE

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2007, 11:25:43 AM »
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  :rofl :rofl :rofl

Oh, and sorry for your pain MAC... *snicker snicker laugh laugh*
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Offline Hornet33

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2007, 11:33:54 AM »


:rofl :rofl :rofl
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Offline Jackal1

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2007, 11:41:10 AM »
Damn Okies.
Cowboy up. :)
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Offline Flatbar

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2007, 12:00:27 PM »
Cats are evil and should be subject to leash laws.

I accelerate for cats.








Note: The above was said in jest and doesn't reflect my true feelings....except for the part about cats.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2007, 12:12:14 PM by Flatbar »
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Offline eskimo2

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2007, 12:01:48 PM »
And now you are patient zero of Human-Feline AIDS...

Dang, that's a bad way to go.
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Offline 68slayr

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Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2007, 12:14:20 PM »
too bad there arent any pics :p
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