Taking in family members

[LePaul]

Guns,  did you get re-married?

[Gunslinger]

Originally posted by LePaul
Guns,  did you get re-married?

Nope,

Over a VERY LONG SUMMER, Mrs. Gunslinger and I re-established our friendship and as a result re-kindled our marriage.

We are among the few success stories of estranged marriages.

I consider myself very lucky!

[RTR]

It sounds like her Mother is not able to make a good choice life wise and would therefor be unable to be a proper parent for your neice anyway.

This isn't the thoughts of a mother doing what is best or needed for her child (which should be the main focus for her).

Take the kid in Guns, she needs people around her who are able to help her with growing up and provide her with the opportunity to learn. She is going to need your help.

Teenage girls can be a real handful  (both my girls are now 22 and 20), but they really need a mature Male influence in thier lives.

Just my humble $0.02

cheers, and good luck.

RTR

[LePaul]

Good to hear.  I hesitated to ask but curiousity got the best of me  

Nice to see you guys are doing well and trying to help that young lady out.

[Gunslinger]

Originally posted by RTR
It sounds like her Mother is not able to make a good choice life wise and would therefor be unable to be a proper parent for your neice anyway.

This isn't the thoughts of a mother doing what is best or needed for her child (which should be the main focus for her).

Take the kid in Guns, she needs people around her who are able to help her with growing up and provide her with the opportunity to learn. She is going to need your help.

Teenage girls can be a real handful  (both my girls are now 22 and 20), but they really need a mature Male influence in thier lives.

Just my humble $0.02

cheers, and good luck.

RTR

Man I think you nailed it inadvetanetly.  You said "People", as of now she just has her mother and no real male influence in her life.  It's kind of weird how she acts around me.  I joke around acting like the drill instructor that I am and give her "orders" yet she gleefully complies.  I think if anything she needs a positive male influence in her life.  She's never had a father.

[RTR]

Well Guns, heh..I have lost most of my hair due to my girls, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

 They need some structure and stability in thier lives, and when they have that they will continually amaze you with thier abilities and accomplishments.

They just need that opportunity and structure.

Any kid deserves that chance.

cheers,
RTR

[AKIron]

No experience raising anyone else's kids but I did raise two daughters of my own. I say go for it. Worse that can happen is you won't get along, life will be miserable for everyone for a while, you send her home and everything is back to normal. More likely is there will be adjustments for everyone but you will all grow in the experience and gain a new life long friend.

[JB88]

i think that you are on the right track guns...sounds like her mom is going off the deep end a bit tho...better you to straighten the arrow then let it fall unmet.

good for you and best of luck.  

tell her she has a whole gaggle of folks rooting for her here.

[rabbidrabbit]

Most schools in Mass rank very well nationally.  In your own mind be sure to separate fact from perception.  That being said, the education opportunity, real or not will be your best argument with her mom which will be the biggest hurdle to this actually happening.  Unless she agrees this will never happen.

[Yknurd]

I've had a few experiences.


Generally speaking, and without going into specifics...

If opportunity is the catalyst for change then I say good.  Moving for a better chance at improved education is a good example.

Changing scenes to avoid trouble is bad.  Again generally, a person's intrinsic attributes that caused them to get into trouble do not disappear with a geographical translation.

[Dago]

Originally posted by rabbidrabbit
Most schools in Mass rank very well nationally.  In your own mind be sure to separate fact from perception.  That being said, the education opportunity, real or not will be your best argument with her mom which will be the biggest hurdle to this actually happening.  Unless she agrees this will never happen.

There has to be something wrong with the Mass schools, they keep turning out to many democrats.  Something has to explain the lack of smarts that would allow Ted Kennedy to keep getting elected.

[Maverick]

Guns,

I had a similar situation. My  first wife was part of a large dysfunctional family and the eldest to boot. She ended up raising most of her siblings. When one of her sisters (about 10 years younger at 14) stayed with us for a Summer vacation she asked to stay and go to High School. I already had a good idea of what this kid was like so I agreed to it. Had I not known what she was like I would have said no. Most of my ex's family are social basket cases. In this case tyhis kid turned out to be one of the good ones. I'd like to think I had a little bit to do with it.

If you have a good feeling about the kid, I say go for it. If there are major problems down the line, keep in mind your primary responsibility is to YOUR family, not the inlaws. Don't sacrifice your family to try and salvage someone else's.

[lasersailor184]

Originally posted by Gunslinger
This is kind of a serious post.

I'm seeking anyone else that has experience with this, the good and the bad.  Basically my wife has asked me if we could take her 16 year old neice.  Her sister is moving to another Massachusets to start a relationship with somone she's never physically met.  Her daughter has lived in a hick town her whole life and is visiting us here in San Antonio for the first time.  As far as high school educations go she is not getting what she needs in the town she's living in nore the town she's expted to move to.

My wife has asked me if we could take her in here so she could stay in Texas and actually improve on her education.  As far as I know they are moving to another small town.  Personally I have no problem helping out family at the drop of a hat but I want to know if anyone else out there has any experiences with this good or bad.  We  have the room for her and she has the means to support herself.  Any advice is appreciated.

Meet her first.  Then decide what to do after that.

[eagl]

Originally posted by lasersailor184
Meet her first.  Then decide what to do after that.

Read the thread.  Then decide what to post after that.

[Dago]

Originally posted by eagl
Read the thread.  Then decide what to post after that.

Oh sure, I suppose you are the type to read the instruction manual before you try a new gadget too!  Everybody knows real men only read the manual after they screw watermelon up.