I'll try and explain it to you from my perspective Moray. It's been not quite 2 and 1/2 years since I lost my son and daughter in a car wreck. In the panic of that time I found I could fall back on the friends I'd made through Airwarrior and Aces High. I remember even in the middle of it wondering why I was using both the Bigweek Forum and here to talk.
I went back to the Bigweek NG and read what i wrote back in the midst of that madness. It was hard to read, but I did speak to it and found what I wrote 2 days after the accident. This was the day after we had to take my 15 year old off life support and about 3 hours before going to see my son's body for the first time after the accident so understand it was written in a real time of madness as I tried to explain to the bigweek guys.
August 30, 2005
"Please understand I don't expect people to have anything to say, or to
even respond to this. I know that it's probably unfair that I dump all
my thoughts on you.
But understand your greatest gift to me right now is that you are where
you are and that deep down I know you are sharing this with me. The
beauty of this forum I guess is that I can come back here when I choose
and when I'm strong enough to face you instead of having to pretend as
I'll have to do when I'm not strong enough today and in the future when
the people are there and I can't handle that.. "
I hope what I wrote then makes sense to you Moray. There was a comfort in being able to choose when I vented and 'leaned' on the friends I'd made in the game. Not having to look them in the eye or take care of them was a wonderful thing, when I knew the house was full of people that I'd have to pretend that I was being strong for. Funny/sad part is most of those 'real' folks are long gone, but the friends I've made here are still around.
When Phan nearly died from complications of Diabetes, his mom called me to let me know. She wanted me to pass the word to his friends here and from Airwarrior. It made perfect sense to do so. He has lots of friends here.
When Shifty's son was wounded in Iraq, he felt like he could ask for support here. And I'd like to think he got lots of it in a time of great fear and anxiety for his family.
Whether you like it or not, this is a community and I'm glad folks feel like they can lean on each other a bit.
If that doesn't fit for you, so be it, but don't condemn other folks who see what we have here as something that goes beyond the game.
