Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!

[Xasthur]

Dear God Man!
Shopping! with a WOMAN!
Thats a suicide mission!

i can see it now....

"Does this make my butt look big?"
"No dear"
"So your saying my butt is too small! you jerk!"

You just need to know how to take the Mrs shopping. If you're good at it, she'll be happy. If she's sufficiently happy then you'll be very happy.

Take an interest in the sort of clothes, shoes and accessories she likes and you'll be golden.

Buying a gift will almost always come second to a well thought-out, self-made birthday card and an impromptu picnic/dinner.

These sort of things are always the cheapest but always show the most thought. All the money in the world means nothing if you don't put thought into it.

Just make her a card and take her out for a nice birthday meal... just the two of you at a quiet location (the beach is always good if you have access). If you fail at that then your Mrs is a hard woman to please.

[midnight Target]

Let her know you asked for help here, AND that you announced her age to everyone. Please video the response.

[Hornet33]

Let her know you asked for help here, AND that you announced her age to everyone. Please video the response.

    I'd pay to see that

[Rash]

Buy her a day at a health/beauty spa for a facial etc. and comment on how beautiful she looks when she arrives home after the spa.  It has never failed.

I did this about a year ago, she loved it.

[john9001]

get her a new vacuum sweeper, women love practical things like vacuum sweepers.

[Charon]

Dear God Man!
Shopping! with a WOMAN!
Thats a suicide mission!

Yes, one does imagine the Bataan Death March. But desperate times can call for desperate actions. Though divorce starts to look reasonable when it gets to this point.

Charon

[texasmom]

get her a new vacuum sweeper, women love practical things like vacuum sweepers.

Spoken like a true SINGLE man.

[Denholm]

Spoken like a true SINGLE man.

Exactly what I thought. That's just scary.

[Papabear]

Oddly, the “Take her shopping” has worked very well for me. Our anniversary (23 years) is this Saturday, and that’s what I am doing for her. Will probably drive to Columbus, about 100 miles away.

Start someplace for a nice breakfast, not too fancy, Cracker barrel is good. Then drive to the big malls. My secret is to pay attention to the first item she buys for herself. If it’s a skirt, at the next store I point out (just a few) things I think might go with it. All you are really doing is showing that you are paying attention.

We will probably break for a very small lunch in a food court. Then a little more shopping…an hour or two. We will probably then stop at a home improvement garden center and she can get a few things for the flower gardens. (BONUS! I get a few items I need!) Then stop at a steakhouse on the ride home for dinner.

The secret is to take your time, talk and (IMPORTANT!) listen during the drive. Use the day to make some points, get some tools, and enjoy a good steak & cold beer with a beautiful woman.

It’s worked for 23 years.

If you can’t do it on her actual birthday, a flower and a hand written coupon for the day of shopping seems to do the trick.

Don’t forget about the steak, it will ease the pain.

[Papabear]

Okay, I just noticed the dreaded, “Does this make my butt look big” question.

The truth, as we all know, sometimes is just, “Yes”.  But hopefully, you are not stupid enough to say it in that many words!…

Okay guys, I am going to share an answer that has worked unbelievably well for me. You will owe me a beer for this one.

When asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” you answer, “Maybe it’s the way (insert SPECIFIC item here) [such as, but not limited to: “That skirt”, “Those Shorts”, “Those pants”, etc.] are cut , but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Okay, she is trying on pants… TEST TIME!

Question, “Does this make my butt look big?”
Answer, “Maybe it’s the way those pants are cut, but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Remember! It is NEVER her butt! It is always the fault of an inanimate object!

You are welcome.

[ROX]

Divorce lawyers are reading some of these posts with glee.


ROX

[Wolfala]

a blue tooth vibrator to interface with her cell phone. Ultimate weapon of control.

[DREDIOCK]

Gift certificate for an afternoon at a Day Spa

No way no how can you ever loose with that one

[bj229r]

Spoken like a true SINGLE man.

My wifey wanted a table-saw and a planer for Christmas

(OK, she turned 46 last week, bought her year-long thingie at tanning place and a trip to FLA to see her sister, and try out afore-mentioned tan; this is awesome, she gets to see her @#@#@#$ lazy fatarse sister and fatarse lazy nieces, and I don't have to be involved )

[WWhiskey]

Gentlemen, I'm sorry, vermont teddy bears suck.  Every commercial they have out there is full of slutty little tramps.  If you buy those for your gals, you're sending the message of "I am buying this for you because I want sex."  Even if you do, don't send that message.

when i got my wife her teddy bear, it was of a poker player she had glasses and what looked like a bowler's shirt with her name on it ,,,wasnt really all that cute and definetly not hot or sexy,,,,, she loved it, that was years ago and it still sits on our mantle too this day, of course i already could have all of the other i wanted so your wrong on my account anyway, sorry