You post in a lot of threads with a lot of questions. This should give you a clue as to this game...... there is a LOT to learn
It can be very frustrating, "patience" is more the word than "practice". You've only been doing this for a few months, where a lot of these guys have been doing it for years. As one of those guys that has been here years, I know HOW to do it, I just don't have the time to put it into practice.
Damping I always thought screwed up my aim more than helped. I would adjust for my shot, but the damping would delay the more. By the time the delay was done I'd already be adjusting again, so my nose was all over the place. For me, I set my damping as low as I can without any "spikes" showing from my hardware. With CH stuff this is pretty much on the bottom, with yours you might have to push them up a bit.
Scaling is what helped the most, well that and learning not to get TOO excited when I was in close for my shot
Scaling is very much a personal thing. You have to be real honest with yourself and adjust it accordingly. If your a stick jerker you need more of an arc, if your very smooth and easy on the stick you need less. The idea here is to make it smooth and accurate. If you pull back "a bit" on the stick, your nose should only raise " a bit".
Once your stick is set to where its a smooth action between your hand and the view on screen you have to learn how to fight. In a buff as a gunner you only need to learn how to lead your shots. Have a friend make passes on you in the TA and turn on your "lead computing sites" you'll be surprised how much you have to lead them when they are coming in on slashing attacks. In fighters, its all in where you point your plane. "Following" a guy isn't going to get you the kill that often, going to the place he WILL be and shooting there is going to get you the kills. To do that you have to know what the planes can do. The idea is to throw your rounds out there to a spot in space and have the bad guy run into them.
Good luck, and keep at it. Have patience young grasshopper, you'll get there !