I can't blame others for what I didn't notice. I'm responsible for me.
On the other hand, it seems like I'm constantly giving verbal warnings to friendlies in the area, or a check six if there is excessive radio chatter. Because I'm quick to offer warnings, I get lots of warnings in return. With rare exception, I am already aware of the enemy, but I always say "thanks" anyway as it isn't someone's obligation to watch my six. It is a courtesy, and I appreciate it.
I give the most warnings when I'm in a Wirbel or an Ostwind as I have a better view of the situation around me, and thus can see something developing that the guys flying may not yet detect. In a similar fashion, I can direct someone to my location where I can shoot the attacker off his tail if need be.
Speaking of communication, team work breeds communication. As an example, I'll see a town flashing near an enemy spawn. I go there and investigate. If there is a significant vehicle attack under way, I ask for assistance on country channel. Most of the time, a few guys respond. I talk with them and organize a coordinated defense. Some will roll tanks, others launch aircraft. Within minutes you will find that players will cooperate, spotting for ground assets or drawing fire to give a teammate a clean bomb run. When my bombs are gone, I'll fly as a FAC, giving detailed accounts of what and where the opposition is, guiding planes and tanks to the enemy. Once the others have a good concept of the situation, I'll rearm.
You can be a leader without issuing orders. You will never be a leader if you spend much of your time whining. Complement your teammates for trying, not just for succeeding. Don't give them grief if they screw up. Instead, encourage them to try again. "You'll get 'em next time."
Being a team player goes a long way to developing a relationship where teammates know that you will try to get them out of trouble if feasible. That doesn't mean diving into a horde trying to save someone with poor judgment. It means providing advice before the mistake is made. Offering help if needed, without be presumptive. That requires paying attention, having good situational awareness. Don't think that you're a Field Marshal, directing people to do your bidding. Trust me, you're not an expert. Even if by some strange quirk of fate, you are; no one cares. This is recreation, not the military. Been there, done that; not interested in putting up with it in my spare time.
Be an asset, not a liability. Be polite. Don't berate others if they don't play the way you would like them to. It's their "nickel". Don't complain about things unless it's an overt breach of etiquette. Every country has its share of dorks who will shoot wingless aircraft or run their mouth endlessly. These guys don't get warnings or a check six. They don't deserve the courtesy. However, the bulk of the players are good guys trying to have some fun, and they will respond to courtesy and respect.
Think of it this way; it's like peeing in the pool and complaining about the water being yellow.
Just because you elected to fly a C-47 into a base with a big, red DARBAR, don't expect people to cover your mistake. You have to accept the consequences of your decision, not complain about their decision to attend to their own issues. Run in an M3 instead. I run supplies to beleaguered bases all the time. However, I don't hope that someone will come to my rescue. In that regard, I opt for the M3, which is rarely detected by enemy aircraft. C-47s are big, fat targets and difficult to protect. I've killed many a C-47 that had escorts. They could do nothing.
It doesn't matter which country you are flying for, there is little difference if any. We have strat players, horde hounds, lone eagles, aces and the helpless. What all of them have in common is the desire to have some fun. If you as a player enhance that, add to the fun or help them enjoy themselves, everyone will be glad you are on their team. It seems to me that to accomplish this, even in the smallest of terms, you need to change the way you think. If you're having issues with lots of folks, you need to realize that the only sure-fire constant in every situation is you....
My regards,
Widewing