Bl**dy Aussies

[Vulcan]

  Ignorance is bliss.

? Tracing your roots to your convict heritage is a national pastime in australia.  They have to import kiwi's to make the rest of the world think aussies still honest hard working blokes. Australia constantly has to grab kiwiana to make itself look presentable. Go to Brisbane and you'll find half the hot strippers are from Whangarei and Auckland. Need I mention, Russell Crowe (next you'll tell me all the Crowe's that were in the Blak Caps were Aussies too), Pavlova, Phar Lap, Split Enz (why do you think they had eNZ in the name you stupid aussies) and so on. You lot even thought Footrot Flats was an aussie cartoon strip and still believe John Clarke (aka Fred Dagg) is an Aussie!

[SD67]

God gave them sheep 'cos you can't shear boiling mud

[lyric1]

? Tracing your roots to your convict heritage is a national pastime in australia.  They have to import kiwi's to make the rest of the world think aussies still honest hard working blokes. Australia constantly has to grab kiwiana to make itself look presentable. Go to Brisbane and you'll find half the hot strippers are from Whangarei and Auckland. Need I mention, Russell Crowe (next you'll tell me all the Crowe's that were in the Blak Caps were Aussies too), Pavlova, Phar Lap, Split Enz (why do you think they had eNZ in the name you stupid aussies) and so on. You lot even thought Footrot Flats was an aussie cartoon strip and still believe John Clarke (aka Fred Dagg) is an Aussie!

Lol All of those great Kiwis you have mentioned have one thing in common like the rest of the imports to Australia from New Zealand there just here for the dollar. Since Australian dole cheques convert to what ?? 10 times more. 

[SD67]

Why are Kiwi women so good in bed?












They have to compete with the sheep

[lyric1]

What do you call a New Zealander with 100 girl friends?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              A Shepherd.

[Excel1]

What do you call a New Zealander with 100 girl friends?




a charitable kiwi living in australia






how can you tell if an aussie is level headed?




he will be dribbling out of both sides of his mouth

[SD67]

A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."

The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The Kiwi says, "You're bull$h1tting me!"

The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".

[-tronski-]

 Ha!

There's a Kiwi, an Aussie and a beautiful woman sitting next to each other on a train.
The train enters a tunnel and everything gets dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap. The woman and the Aussie are sitting there looking confused while the Kiwi is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.
The Kiwi is thinking "That Australian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."
The woman is thinking "That Kiwi must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Australian instead and got slapped."
The Aussie is thinking to himself "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that bloody Kiwi in the head again."

 Tronsky

btw Vulcan...you guys can keep Russell Crowe 

[lyric1]

Kiwi family arrives in Australia.
Son's first day at school and the father say's
"OK son what happened at school today"
"I topped the class at Math's today".
"Well son thats because your a New zealander"

Second day at school and the father say's
"what happened at school today"
"I topped class in English"
"Well son thats because your a New zealander".

Third day at school and the father say's
"What happened at school today"
"We played mini Rugby and after the game we were in the shower's and I noticed that I had a bigger wasser than all the other boys"

"Is that because I am a New zealander Dad".

"No son" the father relied "that's because your 27".

[Pei]

btw Vulcan...you guys can keep Russell Crowe 

Nothing can be done to Russell to make his situation worse - he's already a Souths fan...

[lazs2]

xasthur..  I see.. so long as it is something you don't care about then it is ok for you to vote to take it away from those who do?   the majority always rules right?  unless the government wants to rule of course...

again..your murder rate didn't change when you gave up your guns like hysterical old women..  ours did change.. the more guns we have the lower it goes.

so "lets crunch those numbers" 

you never had any murders cause you don't have any diversity except for the natives you have oppressed for centuries.

lazs

[SD67]

Lazs now I'm normally pretty good with your posts, but that's just plain weird.
Our murder rate really didn't change much (one particular city in our country does hold the highest murder per capita rate in the world! ), but our violent crime rate did.
That's all I'm going to say.

[Sharrk]

Lazs2 "you never had any murders cause you don't have any diversity except for the natives you have oppressed for centuries."   

I know better and I shouldn't ask, but what the hell does that mean.
I guess its not like the American Indians where oppressed or anything, and Australia has a very diverse population of European and Asian decent, not to many Africans though.
 

[Xasthur]

xasthur..  I see.. so long as it is something you don't care about then it is ok for you to vote to take it away from those who do?   the majority always rules right?  unless the government wants to rule of course...

again..your murder rate didn't change when you gave up your guns like hysterical old women..  ours did change.. the more guns we have the lower it goes.

so "lets crunch those numbers" 

you never had any murders cause you don't have any diversity except for the natives you have oppressed for centuries.

lazs

You'll find that I did not vote either way. I've said it to you before, your gun lust forces you to have guns.... I completely understand that. Guns were never so wide-spread here, the circumstances are not the same. Australia does not have the same attitude toward gun ownership as you do nor did we ever have the sheer volume of weaponry. What works for us will almost definitely not work for you. I've said this to you before.

If you government is too bloody stupid to realise that.... well, that's your problem mate.

Australia is supposed to be one of the most 'multi-cultural' places in the world, so don't give us that "you've got not cultural diversity to cause tension" because that is a complete load of bullchit. Tell that to friends of mine that have had their heads kicked in by gangs of Asians and had parties crashed by hordes of ethnics. Because those f-ks didn't have guns only a few people got stabbed and lived to tell the tale.

You didn't catch the Cronulla riots at all? People were bashed and stabbed but no one was shot and IIRC no one died.

You're a long way wide of the mark on this one, mate.

[Vulcan]

Aussies never change....