Author Topic: got this in email  (Read 716 times)

Offline CAP1

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got this in email
« on: August 13, 2008, 12:38:41 PM »
i got this in an email from a friend the other day........


Write In
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
 
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
 
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports.
We will use the 'Walmart' policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
 
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
 
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
 
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
 
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
 
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
 
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
 
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
 
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
 
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
 
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
 
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November. God Bless America!!!!!!!!!!!                              Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!
ingame 1LTCAP
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S.A.P.P.- Secret Association Of P-38 Pilots (Lightning in a Bottle)

Offline Maverick

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2008, 12:46:32 PM »
Bogus. It's also been atributed to George Carlin.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp
DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Offline CAP1

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2008, 12:48:07 PM »
Bogus. It's also been atributed to George Carlin.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp

i didn't think it was real....i justr found it kind of amusing and annoying at the same time. more amusing though, so i figured i'd share it.
ingame 1LTCAP
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S.A.P.P.- Secret Association Of P-38 Pilots (Lightning in a Bottle)

Offline avionix

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2008, 12:52:52 PM »
Sounds like a good idea to me. 
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Offline REP0MAN

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2008, 01:50:05 PM »
Bill Cosby would make a good first Black president.

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. - Tim Vine.

Offline angelsandair

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2008, 01:51:51 PM »
Bill Cosby would make a good first Black president.



:lol Random
Quote
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The wind for their watcher, the wave for their shroud,
Where palm and pandanus shall whisper forever,
A requiem fitting for heroes

Offline USRanger

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2008, 03:14:14 PM »
What's amusing?  That's exactly what we need.  That is, if America still had any balls left.
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Offline CAP1

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2008, 03:18:30 PM »
What's amusing?  That's exactly what we need.  That is, if America still had any balls left.

that's what makes it amusing........
ingame 1LTCAP
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Offline Dago

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2008, 04:19:15 PM »
Bogus. It's also been atributed to George Carlin.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp

I thought Robin Williams said it, and it was said again by Andy Rooney?    :D
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Offline Hornet33

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2008, 04:56:50 PM »
The ONLY one of those I have a slight problem with is number 4

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.


The idea is solid but our retired military personel have already done more than their fair share for God and country to make this a requirement after retirement. Now make it a six month twilight tour I'd be OK with that, or give retired vets front of the line privledges for those that wish to volunteer that's OK as well. Better yet just triple the size of the Border Patrol and give retiring vets the double dip option, i.e. they get all their military retirement pay and benifits and go into the Border Patrol at the exact same paygrade that they retired from the military in. Those with current weapons quals go to the front of the line. You'd have no shortage of people signing up.
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Offline Thruster

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2008, 06:14:34 PM »
Sounds like he wants to be president of North Korea.

Offline Serenity

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2008, 08:12:27 PM »
I would vote for it INSTANTLY. Sounds brilliant to me. Except of course 4, for the same reason as Hornet

Offline Hangtime

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2008, 08:34:42 PM »
The ONLY one of those I have a slight problem with is number 4

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.


The idea is solid but our retired military personel have already done more than their fair share for God and country to make this a requirement after retirement. Now make it a six month twilight tour I'd be OK with that, or give retired vets front of the line privledges for those that wish to volunteer that's OK as well. Better yet just triple the size of the Border Patrol and give retiring vets the double dip option, i.e. they get all their military retirement pay and benifits and go into the Border Patrol at the exact same paygrade that they retired from the military in. Those with current weapons quals go to the front of the line. You'd have no shortage of people signing up.

Just drop the word 'required' and replace it with 'will have preference'.

I doubt there will be any shortage of volunteers. I'm sure you'll agree, we'd prefer to have competent riflemen up there in the tower.
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Offline DiabloTX

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2008, 09:49:13 PM »
Mac's not going to like the competition.

You better take that toejam down now.

He has PTSD, you know.
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Offline CAP1

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Re: got this in email
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2008, 12:30:34 AM »
The ONLY one of those I have a slight problem with is number 4

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.


The idea is solid but our retired military personel have already done more than their fair share for God and country to make this a requirement after retirement. Now make it a six month twilight tour I'd be OK with that, or give retired vets front of the line privledges for those that wish to volunteer that's OK as well. Better yet just triple the size of the Border Patrol and give retiring vets the double dip option, i.e. they get all their military retirement pay and benifits and go into the Border Patrol at the exact same paygrade that they retired from the military in. Those with current weapons quals go to the front of the line. You'd have no shortage of people signing up.

i agree. once they're retired, let em be...they've done more service than a lot of the rest of us.

i'd bet though that a lot of them would gladly volenteer for that :devil
ingame 1LTCAP
80th FS "Headhunters"
S.A.P.P.- Secret Association Of P-38 Pilots (Lightning in a Bottle)