Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! Some kind of CHANGE. Any kind of CHANGE. Or else, it will become BITTER, and cling to THAT side of the road!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road and seek an EXPERIENCED leader for our country.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One at 3am! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. Of course, it depends: what is your definition of crossing? road? chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. There is no middle ground here. BUT, if we had lower taxes, we'd have more chickens!
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it, for some time.
NANCY PELOSI: We will not discuss it. We will not vote on it. Not in MY Congress!
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
JESSE JACKSON: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking, black American.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the well-fed chickens white? We need some fat black chickens. Let's go on strike!
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, just over the railroad, with a workload from abroad.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. In pain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. We then caught it, cooked it and ate it.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken and vice versa. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
