I'm considering applying.
I'd be that annoying assistant who pops her gum & files her nails all day while you whine about "Where's my SUPPLIES?!?!?!" Then finally after you ask me about thirty times I'd get around to it, while I roll my eyes.
If you want coffee, get it yourself, too. Especially if it's that pansy latte crap.
*edit* Oh, and I'd change my name to Owns24