Because the Fat Drunk Bastards have a sense of humor...

[milnko]

A Tribute to The Fat Drunk Bastards!
(remember it's all in fun)  

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Base, Not a C-HOG was stirring, nor a NIKI showed his face;

The Ostwinds were lined by the runway with care, In hopes that Mustangs and JUGs soon would be there;

The ASSASSINS were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of easy kills danced in their heads;

And HBLAIR in his 'goggles, and I in my Turban wrap, Had just settled down for a 180 proof nightcap;

When out on the flightline there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the stool to see what's the matter;

Away to the hanger I flew like a flash,
Tore open the doors and dodged a pile of trash;

The moon on the breast of the new NUTTZ terrain gave the lustre of mid-day to objects like planes;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a Fat Drunk Bastard, and eight tiny bish queer;

With a obese and homely driver, so pallid and sick, I knew in a moment it must be that Fatty salamander;

More rapid than beagles his BASTARDS they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Gordo! now, skernsk! now, creamo and Trimmer!
On, SOB! on Central! on mason and Argyll!

To the top of the pizza! to the top of SHINERBLOCK Hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry heaves that before the wild vomit does fly, When they meet with a toilet, then splash in your eye, So up to the beerhall roof the Bastards they flew, With the sleigh full of sextoys, and that Fatty salamander too;

And then, with a squawk, I heard on my radio set "hurry to airborne or no beer would we get";

As I climbed in my plane, and was turning 'er round, I looked out and saw Fatty that Fat Bastard clown.

He was dressed all in silk, in a cheap pimp's suit, And his clothes were all glittery with rhinestones to boot;

A bundle of porn he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a wino or someone hooked on rock crack;

His eyes -- how shallow! his pimples how scary!
His cheeks were pockmarked, his back was real hairy!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a pucker, all I could think "How do I git rid of this F*cker?";

The stump of a buffalo-wing he held tight in his teeth,
And the smell of BBQ sauce encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a homely face and a big fat belly,
that shook, when he belched; his breath was real smelly;

He was shabby and filthy, a right nasty ol queer, still I stood my ground when I saw him, in spite of my fear;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know he'd be a homosexual to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the sink, pulled out his JOHNSON then flashed me some pink;

And sticking his finger two knuckle deep in his nose, he pulled out a booger, that'd curl your toes;

Then to his plane the Fat Bastard did roll, hopped on it's wing like a chubby ol troll;

Once strapped in and settled to his team he gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, the bunch of flabby pig gristle;
 
Then I heard him break wind, ere he dove out of sight, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

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"Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant"
-WW1 German ACE Manfred Freiherr von Richthofen

<< MILENKO >>
ACES HIGH ASSASSINS Website
WB/AH ASSASSINS Website

[This message has been edited by milnko (edited 02-27-2001).]

[SOB]

LOL!  You nasty Assassin!    That just earned you a "Get Drunk On SOB" Free Card the next time you're in my general vicinity!  If you ever find yourself headed to Salem, drop me an email.  This will be saved to my hard drive as soon as I make it back home  


SOB

[Fatty]

Sweet  

[hblair]

<wipes a tear from eye>

Thats my boy!

[Central]

LOL! Nice!  

[mason22]

fatty

rocky says she wants those porns back!  

------------------
Mason22  Fat Drunk (chute shooting) Bastards  -- "shut up and FLY"

[Ozark]

LOL  
Please...don't shoot Santa again!  
(I'm hoping he brings me that Table Saw this year.)

[Animal]

im too drunk to tread all that toejam
narrow it down

-------
ok I just read it sober and its very funny  
good job tard

[This message has been edited by Animal (edited 12-24-2000).]

[Westy]

lol!!!!   Bravo, bravo!!!  

{saved!}

-Westy

[Sunchaser]

Now that's Assassinsation!

Thanks milnko the FDBs will be off my tail for awhile huntin' you.

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When did they put this thing in here and WTF is it for?

[skernsk]

Merry Christmas ASSassins......I've been a good boy so Santa should bring me a new set of Hispano's and a six pack

------------------
.................
Skernsk
Fat Drunk Bastards

[Spliff]

Nothing could be more accurate... How do you know Fatty so intimately? Is there something we should Know?  I think this deserves an Honourary Membership into the FDB's in the least. Have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.. Argyll  

[Lance]

Heh!  I vote a resounding YES on Milstinko!

[escafe]

Well done milnko !!   . But like Argyll said , you seem to know Fatty pretty well....hmmm

[milnko]

I think you fellas forget the posted AHCon pics. What a homely bunch  

Wish I'd seen a pic of Gordo....I woulda saved it, and had it as a visual aid while explaining the importance of using a condom to my 19 yo son.  

BTW I am honored to be considered for Honorary FDB status.  

Hey SOB, my wife works in Vancouver, so I may stop down sometime soon.  She drives an Hour to work everyday from Longview/Rainier area