Author Topic: texts from last night  (Read 2989 times)

Offline Banshee7

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #45 on: May 29, 2009, 01:43:23 PM »
(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #46 on: May 29, 2009, 02:22:32 PM »
(570): Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem



(603): I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.



(513): i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"



(616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #47 on: May 29, 2009, 07:57:56 PM »
(306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox



(858): that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Treize (pronounced 'trays')- because 'Treisprezece' is too long and even harder to pronounce.

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Offline crazyivan

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #48 on: May 29, 2009, 08:44:35 PM »
(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Sounds like my neighbor. :D When your driving a lawnmower to the store. whats another year right. :rofl
« Last Edit: May 29, 2009, 08:46:47 PM by crazyivan »
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Offline Enker

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #49 on: May 30, 2009, 01:50:28 PM »
 (208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
 :rofl

 (734): i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

 (310): Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

 (301): is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?

(904): What are you doing tonight?
(847): Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

(720): o feces let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
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Offline OOZ662

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #50 on: May 31, 2009, 02:01:35 PM »
(734): Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #51 on: June 01, 2009, 07:48:28 PM »
(717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands



(954): i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
(425): hahaha how?
(954): its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery



(734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
(1-734): toejamtttttt.
(734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.



(626): What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Treize (pronounced 'trays')- because 'Treisprezece' is too long and even harder to pronounce.

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Offline Meatwad

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #52 on: June 01, 2009, 10:27:57 PM »
(773): Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys

(330): I just had to have my mom look at my noodle to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
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Offline Xasthur

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #53 on: June 02, 2009, 04:21:00 AM »
Quote
(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #54 on: June 02, 2009, 01:41:11 PM »
(260): Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes


(818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff


(661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
(831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Treize (pronounced 'trays')- because 'Treisprezece' is too long and even harder to pronounce.

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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #55 on: June 03, 2009, 05:15:56 PM »
(850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
(407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Treize (pronounced 'trays')- because 'Treisprezece' is too long and even harder to pronounce.

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Offline Xasthur

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #56 on: June 04, 2009, 04:57:09 AM »
Quote
(847): dude, osama threatened the US again
(1-847): dude. i slept with your sister last night
(847): what?
(1-847) I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
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Offline LCCajun

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #57 on: June 04, 2009, 05:42:59 AM »
(425): If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
 :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Offline moot

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #58 on: June 04, 2009, 06:49:05 AM »
(540): what do you have against ST
(1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
:rofl
Quote
(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
:rofl :rofl
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Offline Treize69

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Re: texts from last night
« Reply #59 on: June 04, 2009, 07:52:18 AM »
(614): You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Treize (pronounced 'trays')- because 'Treisprezece' is too long and even harder to pronounce.

Moartea bolșevicilor.