A blonde walks into the doctors office with a gunshot wound to her hand. When the doctor inevitably asks, 'How did it happen?', the girl says 'I tried to commit suicide.' When the doc asks, 'How did you shoot yourself in the hand trying to commit suicide?', she explains-
"Well, I took my boyfriends handgun and wanted to shoot myself, so I put the gun to my chest and started to squeeze the trigger- then I looked down and thought, 'No, I spent too much money on those D cups, I'm not going to ruin them now...'
"Then I put the gun under my chin and started to squeeze the trigger, then I thought, 'No, I want my funeral to be open casket, so that won't do...'
"Then I figured I'd be best to put it in my ear, but just as I started to squeeze the trigger, I thought, 'This is gonna be really loud!'" and she slapped her free hand over her other ear.