Yeager, best explanation I can give you sir.
Imagine, for the purposes of explanation, that when you are in a 1vs 1 with an enemy plane.
That there are in fact 4 aircraft. Everything is run on your computer that has to do with you.
Ie Shooting, collisions etc. Same is true on his.
So its like the "Real you" pulling a towed target that looks like you. (he just sees the target, can't see you)
And the real him, pulling a target that looks like him. (you just see the target, you can't see him.
If you get guns on him, and "see" hits, it sends the data in a packet to his computer and his plane takes appropriate damage.
Now in a collision one side can run into the other guys target, ie the game detects that the 2 of you are in the same space. But on the other side lag makes things look slightly different. So on HIS end, he avoids the collision. He misses, the game does not detect both of you in the same space.
So you see it really does not matter who "ran" into who.
If you get a collision, you caused it, directly or indirectly.
There is virtually no way to "ram" someone where you won't take more damage than the person your trying to hit.
In order to truly do so would be like trying to run into him with your towed target. But because of lag you never know how long the rope towing it is! You would have to be out in front of him, swinging around hoping that he'll run into you.
And if he sees it, he'll probably try to miss it, or shoot it.
Many people have said they have done it, but no one has of yet ever submitted film proving a ram like this.
So, there is no ram.
If you collided, you take the damage.
If he didn't, he doesn't.
Its not real world where both planes fall, and it never will be.
Until we can have truly lag less internet, with zero ping and no packet loss.
Collisions will have to be modeled the way they are.
All you have to do is miss the collision on your end, and don't worry about what he see's on his.
Well, that and stay out of his guns of course.
Which is the real cause of most guys who end up in the tower cursing collisions.